Breastfeeding is offensive

I get tired of hearing this. I hate it when people tell me that I shouldn't do that. Yes, it has happened before. I have been asked to leave because Starbucks is a family environment. Desi was in the sling and nursing at the time. She was covered up by the tail. If you weren't gawking, you wouldn't be able to tell she was nursing.
Starbucks is family friendly, yet they sell magazines that show the same amount of breasts if not more than me!
I'm thankful for not having boobs thrown in my face all the time by offensive and indecent breastfeeding mothers like the ones below.





wait... well, this is a bad example. let's try again...



hmmm... just a minute. surely i can find better ones than these...




eh... still not racey enough. i'll check one more time.



thats better. LOOK AT THAT! i see about an inch of boob! totally disgusting.



ugh! look at that indecency!! she must be from some third world country to be exposed like that!!



now thats just... there's no words to describe how innappropriate that is. something needs to be done!!














but why stop at breastfeeding women? there are boobs everywhere. beware! if you thought the above photos were offensive, you WILL DEFINATELY be offended by the photos below.



















not this one, tho. this was in plain view on newstands and in mailboxes in 19 countries worls wide!




not this one either. this one actually won an award!



oh, and i guess this ones fine too, since everyone knows you can't sell jeans without someone being topless.



or beer, for that matter!



or sunglasses.




or movie tickets.



or CDs...



















you know what? maybe i'm crazy, but i think that someone mixed up some photos here. the first batch are offensive, but the second batch are just fine and dandy???




















people who live in glass bras:



shouldn't throw stones:





if you think women have the right to breastfeed their children no matter where they are, please repost this. you've reposted jokes, surveys and the whore-train. support breastfed babies and their right to eat in public.

My thanks to Adrianna who shared this forward with me.

There is a new midwife in town!

Friday while I was in my warrior position, Desmina went up to me and put the microphone up to my belly to hear the baby. I never realized that she paid that much attention during the midwife visits. She then did it to her a doll. Of course I had to stop doing my yoga session to get a picture, instead of catching her with the doll I caught her listening to her own belly.

RIP Wasabi

The worst case scenario came. We didn't want him to suffer. His liver was shot and they couldn't stop the bleeding.

Gorilla was one of Wasabi's favorite toys. He will be stuffed with Wasabi's ashes so that Wasabi will always have his Gorilla.




Wasabi,
You gave us your best years of your life and in return, we gave you our best.
Every day we spent with us, you gave us love. You died knowing our love for you is strong. You will not be forgotten. You will always be loved.
Goodbye, goodnight and good luck my special one.

Damn

Wasabi's red blood cells are still low. It's at 18%. Yesterday it was at 20 something percent. He is still losing blood. They think it's gastrointestinal now. They will do the last of the blood this morning and we have to make a decision tonight if we ant to take him to the emergency vet in Concord. He needs to be generating his own blood cells. Problem is that he is losing blood so I don't know if he isn't generating or if it's because he is losing blood.
I don't even want to think what the other option is.

More on Wasabi

This was shot the day before yesterday. It's hard to believe how much energy he had that day and then seeing him so sick last night.



Wasabi is home now. He will go in to the vet again tomorrow for more blood. They are doing it a little at a time so that they won't hurt his little body.
He seems to be doing much better. He tried to run into the room after he heard Desmina crying. I don't know if he thought she was laughing and he wanted to play or if he wanted to make sure she was okay. He was still hooked to the IV so Fred had to stop him.

It's good to see him improving no matter how little it was. I admit, I was hoping for a big drastic change. I will take what I can get. I hope that he made it through the hardest part. I don't think I can relax until I know 100% and then give me another week.

Sorry that my blog is consumed about Wasabi right now. He is always on my mind. I am glad that we didn't make any weekend plans. I am not comfortable leaving him home alone right now.

Wasabi update

Wasabi made it through the night. I do not know if he is getting better; I can't tell. Fred took him to the vet this morning. The vet said that Wasabi was cold, but he set up a heating pad and now he is comfortable. Wasabi needed a blood transfusion. I think the tech's dog is going to donate. The vet told us that they are unsure how well the transfusion is going to go. There is a slight risk because although they may have the same blood type, there is another factor they aren't able to check like they can in humans. Wasabi needs the blood though. He lost a lot of blood last night in his stools. The vet thinks that this will help Wasabi feel better. If Wasabi improves, we may get to take him home for the night.
My stomach is knotted from crying all night. If I think too much about it, I start crying again.

My Poor Wasabi.

We had to take Wasabi to the vet today. Fred was putting Desmina's nighttime diaper on her. He came into her bedroom and found a lethargic Wasabi lying next to her trampoline with two huges piles of vomit. I ran to him and cuddled him in my arms. He felt so limp next to me. I tried to stand him on his feet, but he would collapse down on the floor. His breathing was labored and his tounge all pale.

Now usually his tongue is sticking out to the side, but there is some life to it. It looks very limp compared to how it usually is. I love his snaggle tooth and how his tongue hand out.

Fred was at the vet for three hours. They gave Wasabi an IV to hydrate him, chest X-rays and blood samples. The test came back with something wrong with his liver. The numbers were off the chart says the vet. Fred let me talk to the vet,whhich was not reassuring. He couldn't tell me how high of toxicity Wasabi's liver is at. I asked about his prognosis. Vet was unsure and that we have to wait a few days. If Wasabi gets better progressively over the next few days, then there is a good chance he will make it. Of course there is the negative side. The vet said that there is a chance that he may die. When I heard these words, I could hear nothing else. I am hoping that he is just giving me the worst case scenario. You know doctors.

Wasabi came home with an IV. We are taking turns staying with him to monitor. Right now he is snoring. I think that is a good sign because it shows that his breathing is getting stronger.
He drank some water which is another good sign and when I went to bed he tried to follow me. So he is able to get up. Do you think it's okay to get my hopes up now?

Wasabi is my baby. Fred and I got him together. We have had him for four years now. It will be five in September. I want to see him and Desi grow up together. I want Desi to have fun Wasabi memories. She adores Wasabi.
I have thought about what it would be like to get another dog. I cannot imagine another dog ever replacing Wasabi. He is the best doge ever. He is so great with Desmina, very patient. I cannot imagine any dog being as loving and patient with her. He is so cuddley. I cannot imagine any dog being as huggable.

Let's hope for the best for our Wasabi.

Verdict is in

My daughter has a hole in her stomach. Tonight as her appetizer she had 1/4 avocado, couple pieces of mango and chips. Ten minutes later dinner is ready. She Hoovers a whole burrito (the big sized tortillas), rice, chips and guacamole. She has now eaten a Cyn sized meal. If you guys know me, you know how much I can put in. But today Desi has me beat, she is now eating a bowl of cereal.

Head, shoulders knees and toes

and penises and vaginae!
Ever since we taught Desmina what that was hanging on Wasabi, she has been obsessed. For the longest time she thought she had a penis too. She still thinks she still has a tail, so I wasn't too worried. I kept telling her that she does not have a penis, but a vagina. She knows now that girls have vaginae and boys have penises. She still mistakes belly button outies for penises, but we are one step closer.

Yesterday, we were talking about her bear. She told me that the bear had a penis. I told her that the bear doesn't have a penis. She then concluded that the bear must have a "jī'nə."

Angel Babies

One of the women from my pregnancy forum, had her baby. He passed before they had a chance to meet him. They knew that there was a chance that they would not get to meet him. She is an exceptionally strong and unselfish woman. She gave her son the gift of a chance of living. Josheph Angel, you are in my thoughts.

Who knows Cyn

Create your own friendquiz here

New layout

I worked on it all morning. It took me forever to get it the way I like it. I had to end up using HTML because I hate how the blog doesn't allow you to open a new window when you want to click on a new link. I wanted to add pictures to the headers, but I have no clue how to do that part. I tried. I guess I'm on the wrong template.

Midwife appointment

I had my midwife appointment. I think it's awesome that she has appointments on Sunday. It was a long appointment, since it was the initial intake. She asked basic family history question, took blood for the panel and the dreaded pelvic exam. It was a very nice appointment despite the pelvic exam. Good news is that I have a good pelvis for birthing babies.


We talked about the chances of my placenta being on my scar. It's a very slim chance, since the scar is so low. I just have to have an ultra-sound to confirm it. I hate to do it, but anything to give me a HBAC.

Afterwards, we went to an awesome Indian restaurant. The chutney was the best that I've ever had! It had the right amount of spice. Any Texan transport can tell you that New Hampshire is defintely lacking in the spice department. Salsa in New Hampshire is like ketchup to a Texan. House of India in Concord knows how to bring it. If you are ever in the area and love Indian you should check it out. The owners were very nice and even gave Desi a popsicle. Which if you guys know us, we do not allow her processed sugars. It was such a nice day outside. Nice New England weather. We allowed her to eat half and took pictures of her first processed popsicle. I'm glad I didn't have the nutritional information. I don't want to even imagine how much sugar it has.

"How much of this can I fit in my mouth?"




"Who wants to give me a kiss?"




The unicorn is Desmina's power animal

Twenty-eight months

It's hard to believe that I have been nursing for twenty-eight months. She has slept with me for twenty-eight months. I have held her in my moms for twenty-eight months. I have kissed her for twenty eight months. I have been a mom for twenty-eight months. She has been in my life for twenty-eight months. Desmina is twenty-eight months today.

Starting the day off with some breakfast. She had a waffle and soy yogurt.


My big girl!


Future shutterbug.


Walking the bridge.


What a perfect way to end a perfect walk.


That's my girl!

Someday, we'll find it the rainbow connection..

I was walking around town today, trying to get pictures for an online project. I took this picture, just as drops were beginning to fall.




I put my camera in the bag quickly and walked towards the library. I thought it was going to sprinkle and I could make it without getting soaked. Just as I was crossing the street, the wind and rain got heavier. I contemplated seeking shelter under the hut downtown, but decided I get sprint a hundred more feet to the library. The wind and rain are wicked (my first opportunity to use wicked in a sentence!) cold and I am imagining how warm my fleece jacket is.
I wait until the rain dies down. It doesn't last long, maybe ten minutes. I am thinking that I should run home before the rain starts up again.

But what do I see?



I have to stop and take a picture! The wind is blowing very hard, Mary Poppins style. I don't care about anything else as long as the camera doesn't go into the creek.



As you see I still have hold on the camera. It's not going anywhere without me.

Trying to catch the rainbow.


...the lovers, the dreamers and me.

Sabi No!!!!!!

This is all I have been hearing today. It starts with a shriek, feet running in place and then, "Sabiiii noo! My sandwich!" Half of the time, she hands him whatever she is shrieking about. Poor Wasabi. He must think that she has multiple personalties. I confess, this thought has crossed my mind as well. Especially when she throws her fork on the floor and cries about it.


She woke up just in time to greet the new year with her whines. Before getting ready for bed, she selected a Santa Claus sticker and tenderly, put him on her PJs. When she woke up crying, we got her out of bed to give her a New Year's Day kiss. She then proceeded to throw Santa to the floor with such force, you would have thought that he bit her or whispering demonic things to her. As soon as he hit the floor, she started crying for her "Anta Cause sticker," which to Fred sounded like Holocaust. We picked up the sticker and gave it back to her only for her to drop it like a hot potato again.

Her dual personality peeks out again when she is playing with her friends. She will give them whatever toy she is playing with and then scream at the top of her lungs for them to give it back. I guess I should be proud that she is sharing, even though it's just for a millisecond.

Why am I gagging?

I won't name names, but I'll post a picture.

This certain nameless entity has been farting all day. I admit it, I blamed on Fred at first. But when Fred left to go to the store, the smell still kept hitting me, more like punching me. He doesn't fart often, but when he does you better duck and cover.

We may go bankrupt

feeding the child. How can someone so small consume so much? I don't know where it all goes. She is nineteen pounds fully clothed.
Yesterday she started the day with two bowls of cereal and then stole my waffle. Apparently that was not enough to feed the Pit; I had to make her another waffle.
We went to the API meeting and there was food there. Of course where there is food, there is Desmina. She ate her heart's content out on chips, oranges, and fresh home made bread. We got home and although she just ate, she insisted it was lunchtime. I heated a veggie dog, thinking she would eat half of it and I could polish off the rest. I must have been starving her because she ate two veggie dogs. The only reason why there was a break between lunch and her next feast...er snack was because she had a nap. While we were waiting for dinner, she acted as though we had not fed her all day. She was wasting away and dying of hunger. Reality: It had only been an hour since she had crackers and a big bowl of Veggie Booty.® Finally when it was time for dinner, she ate her veggie burger, fries, chili, rice and then since I deprived her of food all day, the rest of my veggie burger. For dessert because dinner wasn't enough, she had half a peanut butter sandwich and some banana with peanut butter.
It's noon now and feeding time.

I am Dog parts

I am Dog tail

Dog Paws

Dog snout.

Penis!

That is what Desi said, while playing with my belly button. I told Fred today, that if I were a man, I would have some sort of complex if my penis was that size.

Walk with me

The walking bridge

Graffiti on the bridge

Life still breathes

I spotted this before we walked inside.

Bye Bye Snow

It was fun while it lasted. The weather is crazy here. It always feels warmer than the actual temperature. I guess it's because I'm so used to the wind in Texas. The winds that make trampolines fly.
I am practicing taking pictures in manual mode. These are pictures I took today. What do you think?

I promise I didn't brainwash her!

I was just joking about teaching Desi to adore Obama. Early this morning (too early for me to fathom me even getting out of bed) she asked for me to get the "Bama" book. She loves to gaze at his picture, kiss him, and feed him. Lunch time today I caught her spoon feeding him hummus! Of course she got it all over his face, so she asked for a napkin and vigorously wiped his face. This one takes the cake. We were talking about her "BooBoo" book all of a sudden she decided to switch gears. She started clapping and cheering, "Way!!!" (She still can't say yay.) I asked her,"Yay what?" More cheering,"Way! Bama. [clap clap] Way!!!" I love this kid.

What I fear in a home birth

I was just thinking about my fears as I was soaking in the bath. Some of them are neurotic, I know. I have bathroom issues. I clean our bathroom at least twice a week. I was thinking whether or not the bathtub would be clean enough for me to labor in. Even though I take baths in them, Desmina takes baths, and the new baby will take baths I still wonder. I doubt the bathroom will be big enough for the midwife and Fred to be with me while I am laboring. Besides the shower curtains, although new look to me as though it can be a transporter of germs. I'm sure it is! My solution: rent a birthing tub from Jeanne. We can set it up in the living room. Problem solved there, I guess.

I worry that the baby will be breech and my dreams for a home birth will be stolen from me. In NH, midwives are not allowed to deliver breech or twins in the home. My solution: chiropractor adjustments.

My biggest fear is whether or not I will be able to push a head out. What if I tear? What if the baby gets stuck? I need a mantra. I believe in myself. I believe in my body.

Oh what fun it is to ride in a one-dad open sleigh!

What moves you?

The baby likes Obama! As soon as Blanket heard him speak s/he started kicking. I am going to turn my children to be Obama cheerleaders. I even taught Desi to say his name tonight. Next step, teach her to cheer and clap whenever she sees him on TV.

Poking fun at Bush

I posted this because this has Desmina's favorite so on it.

Toddler Fashion

If she had her way, she would get to wear a Halloween shirt every day. I have three in rotation. MIL just sent another pumpkin shirt to add to her collection.
This morning she wanted to wear one of her Halloween shirts. I had to convince her that a penguin and an igloo are much cooler than any of her Halloween shirts.

Yes, those are socks on her feet. I have no idea why. She just wanted them on.

Because it's Christmas,

What are your sins?

Greed:	Medium
Gluttony:	Low
Wrath:	Medium
Sloth:	Medium
Envy:	Low
Lust:	Very Low
Pride:	Medium

The Seven Deadly Sins Quiz on 4degreez.com

Best Christmas present ever

I'm going to be an aunt!!!!!

Safe keeping my ass

I put stuff away knowing that I would be sending it to people. Of course, I can't find it amidst the chaos we call our home. It's scrapbook hell in our house right now. I was hoping to ship them with today's last minute shipping.
So Adrianna, if you are reading this I won't be shipping of those tests I promised. I cannot for the life of me remember where I put those stupid things. I was hoping to send them and sprinkle it with good luck. Hopefully, by the time I find them you won't need them anyways.

Desmina was freaking out because she saw the Gameboy we were returning to K. She doesn't even play the damn thing, why the temper? She isn't feeling to well anyways. She has explosive diapers and projecting vomit. It's been over a week for the vomit, which is happening off and on. I was blaming on food, but I cannot think of what she has eaten that can make her sick. At least I don't have to have the guilt that I'm giving her spoiled food. Now the guilt has transfered to me not taking her to the doctor. I hope it passes this weekend. She cannot afford to lose anymore weight! If you know me, you know that this is the biggest struggle with her. Although she has a never filling pit when it comes to feeding her usually. She isn't eating as well. And everyone who knows Desmina that is she isn't eating, there is something wrong. Either she is sick or the world is ending. The sky, sun and moon are intact so we're safe from the latter.

Oh shit

Holiday baking isn't going as planned. First the banana didn't make it home. I use it as an egg substitute. I ended up using soy protein; I'm crossing my fingers that they will turn out okay. The dough tastes delicious; let's just the chemistry is right.

This morning Desmina helped decorated the cookies. Of course, I'm too busy messing with the camera to notice that she has dumped half of the colored sugar on one cookie! The cookies look great though. Some are saturated with sugar, and some barely have any.

I'm waiting for the cookies to bake now. So far it's been 21 minutes...almost twice the timea than the average cooking time. But the cookies are thicker, if I'm not deluding myself.
Good! They look done. Just have to wait for it to cool.

Tonight we are going to bake cookies. Desi is going to help decorate. Tomorrow we're going to more winter decorations and do some more baking. I think we are going to make Almond Rocca and brownies. I hope we can veganize it.
Desi will make ornaments while we work on that.
Happy Yule to you!

Ah Christmas cheer

Can you believe we only have four more days until Christmas?
I decided to start the presents tonight. Christmas presents are going to be going to the family late , but my deadline is to finish them by tomorrow so that I can send them out by Saturday. There is no well in bloody hell am I going to the stupid post office by myself with Desmina, the Cling-on. Besides we need to make baked goods to add to the box as to off set the lameness of our presents. It's just framed scrapbook pages. We may even be cutesy and have Desmina make an ornament.
Fucking printer!!!!
Why don't you just print like you're suppose to?
It ate my paper! And now it's making a funny noise. I think I broke it. I had to unplug it to get the damn thing to shut up. I plugged it in again and it's still making demonic noises.

Desmina's Menagerie

I call our bed the zoo now. She insists on them every night and now naptime. It's the Usual Suspects: Elmo (which of course it's the talking Elmo and if you accidentally lie on him it hurts like hell), Birthday Bear, Wish Bear and of course Wasabi by her feet. We just moved up from a Queen to a King, but lost space because of her entourage.
Oh and she won't go to sleep until she makes sure they have been tucked in and have their pillows. Sometimes she shares a blanket with them, sometimes they get their own.

Didn't I tell you looks were deceiving?

What do you think of her baby powder footprints? Stupid me left the baby powder on the coffee table. I am at the computer and she is in it. I don't have to turn around; I can smell it. I tell her to put it back on the table. I think she thinks I have eyes in the back of my head. Now I know how my mom knew about all the shit I did when I was a kid. Moms just knows. They have spidey senses.

Looks can be deceiving

I love watching her sleep. It's one of the rare times when there is peace in the house. She has taken to tormenting Wasabi. I think nap time is his favorite time too. You can't see him in the picture, but he is curled by her feet. I do love her toddlerness though (at times).
Yesterday at dinner Fred and I tried to coax her to eat her risotto. She flat out told us, "I don't want it!" We were so excited that she said a whole sentence so perfectly. And of course, for those who have toddlers...there is no such thing as force feeding a toddler. She ended up eating a banana instead, which of course half of it was thrown to Wasabi.

What's the difference between $.002 and .002 cents?

Bad Math

Apparently these people just don't get it.

Wasabi stole her banana

That was her dream last night. She woke up in the middle of the night screaming about her banana and that Wasabi ate it. It was so heartbreaking. I had to tell her it was just a dream. Poor Wasabi, he thought he was in trouble.

What was I thinking?

Runs through my head sometimes. Especially on the days when all I hear is screeching. Oops. Her water fell on the floor after swiped it off the table. Then of course more screeching for God knows what. Did I mention that she is destructive? As I am typing..CRASH CRASH... she is throwing shit on the floor. Oh and she stole my sock. My left foot is freezing. She doesn't remember where she put it.

Dinner and a movie

Tonight I made vegan pot pie. It's baking in the oven now. I am going to sauteé green beans with a garlic lemon butter sauce.
If Desmina goes to bed early, we are going to watch Big Night with Tony Shalhoub and Stanley Tucci. Most people know I have a small crush on Tony as Monk. Who can resist a man who is intelligent, paranoid and clean?

I'm having too much fun!

It's okay to cry

William wants a doll

Thank goodness Desi is a girl

or she'll be gay!
You've got to love the T-shirts they sell too.

Me!

After speaking to three midwives, I think we found our perfect fit, Jeanne Brown. It was actually a toss up between her and another local midwife, Amy Healey. Amy just had this beautiful energy to her. You could tell that she was consumed with such love for children and everyone. Jeanne was great too. She also had a wonderful energy going on for her as well. She seems very enthusiastic in her practice and outlook on life. We went with Jeanne because of insurance. Honestly, I'm glad that we had a deciding factor for us. I do not know who we would have chosen. Fortunately, I will be able to use Amy as the assisting midwife. I want Amy's presence there as well. They both have such a special kind of energy that I will welcome during my labor.

Baby it's cold outside

Well not weather. It's actually pretty nice today minus the rain. I just wanted an opportunity to show off the beautiful view outside my kitchen window. This is Desmina's and my favorite window to look outside of. Desmina loves it because of the collie outside. She loves to bang on the window and call out to him or her. I love it because it overlooks the garden. Can you the little bench? It just seems like a perfect place to meditate.
Bonus: If you look closely in the reflection you can see a picture of me and my little bump.

Alas

Our camera has arrived! It's a Fuji S6000

The memory card hasn't arrived yet, so I can only take a few pictures at a time then upload it to the computer. I love the contrast in focus between these two different pictures. This was even before I had a chance to play with the aperture. I'm still trying to figure out how to change it in the program mode.

It's the Holidays

Last night we went to see Chirstmas lights. It was very heavily Christian based. I was a bit disappointed because I thought it was going to be a neighborhood of lights. Instead it was a church that put on a display of lights. It was a still impressive display though. I didn't mind the Christian aspects either.
For dinner we had baked acron squash stuffed with tofu, onions and corn drizzled with maple syrup and rice on the side. I added cinnamon and allspice to my stuffing to compliment the flavor of the maple syrup.

Okay for a little Holiday Cheer here are links to two dancing elves.
Mina
Wasabi

Happy Birthday Wasabi

Today Wasabi turns five. We didn't get to have a party like I planned. I didn't get to the planning part, being so busy with the move. We didn't even get him a present. Poor boy. He did get three treats this morning, soft food in the morning, left overs (which I try to avoid giving him), soft food with his dry food in the evening and we sang happy birthday to him several times. He got more cuddles than he usually does.
Desmina drew him a picture on her magnadoodle. Damn I wish I had the camera.

First taste of real winter

and I love it! I wish I had my camera. It was so beautiful today! It's amazing to see the trees glistening with snow. The ground was covered with a nice quilt of snow. I loved seeing the Wasabi and Desmina prints. Poor Desmina fell a couple of times while walking Wasabi. It made me realize how much we need ski pants. We were well layered so the cold didn't feel bad even though the windchill made it feel like 1 outside! So far the wind isn't as bad as Texas. Poor Wasabi was shivering his curly tail off though. I need to find his sweater, or get him a new one.

Later I put on the snowsuit that Vennittah sent Desi. She looked so darn cute in it, like a fluffy pink marhmellow. She had trouble navigating in her suit and kept falling. She didn't seem to mind though. We only stayed out for a few minutes and she got bored. She didn't seem too interest in the snow. I need to learn the secret of making snow people. I couldn't even make a ball of snow. So if anyone has any tips, I would love to hear them!