29 March 2007

32 weeks

Yesterday my aspiring photographer friend, took pictures. I have always admired her photos in her blog. She really knows what she is doing. I have to find a time to pick at her brain. We took some clothed ones and some nice nude shots. I"ll just share the clothed ones.


One of my favorite pictures.




"I want to be like mommy." Notice her hand on her belly? She got that from watching the prenatal yoga tapes. I followed her lead.



What she looked like during most of our visit. Desi and D played while we took pictures. Of course Desi had to get her snack...erm snacks in. They both played well together. I was a bit worried that Desi would pinch D. She has a nasty habit of doing it to the daycare girls downstairs. Actually there are only two and Desi chooses to pick on the landlord's daughter the most. She is going to get us evicted! But the two girls played very well. Desi was very sweet to the baby too. She is in love with the baby and wanted to take her home. Who couldn't blame her. Check out their Thursday pictures? What beautiful girls! Nothing can take away that sister bond!

Love is

Family walks.





Daddy rides.


Happy Love Thursday!

28 March 2007

The promise

Desi loves this season. Snow melting = water!!!! She even has "water shoes" aka as mud boots. I have been encouraging her to walk. Today's promise was something I knew
Puddles!!!!

Mommy's turn for a promise.

My first glimpse of a robin. Spring is here! I hope Spring is here to stay!

Getting a picture was very hard as my toddler was yelling, "HI!!!! BIRD!!!! HI!!!!!!" I managed to get a side view snap before it flew away to what he or she thought to be a safer place away from the screaming toddler.

Geocaching: Second Chapter

Starts with the trek to the library.

Thirty one weeks plus, and still carrying her on my back!

The right answer (we hope).

We looked at the wrong plague. Leave it to me to find the smallest detail and ignore the blatant sign.

Trail starts off muddy. Perfect for little girls to splash and squish.

Then turns snowy. Daddy has to help hold for a few icy patches.

Then to complete ice. Slip and slide! But if I didn't keep my eyes on the ground, I wouldn't have spotted the leaves in perfect harmony.

We get to the coordinates, and look high and low.


But everything is covered in ice!!!! We try to break the ice but with no success. So alas, our hunt for the cache is another sinker. :(

I emailed Ms. Ogg to double check our coordinates and answers just in case.

21 March 2007

Birth Art

Birthing from Within recommends birth art. Here is where it took me:


I was planning to paint me laboring in water, but it turned out to be something more powerful. I started using a heart sponge for the womb. I surrounded it with red. Red for blood and muscles. Then it turned into giving birth to the sun. I wanted to make sure I had the cervix wide open. The legs and arms are suppose to be muscular. The arms are open to represent the sun rising. My hair is suppose to be black and flowing, but it's more of a purple. My aura is purple because to me purple is strength. My aura explodes in orange flames, like the sun. I wanted to make sure my art extended the whole page to remember to give in to my labor. I painted my face last. I wanted my face to look peaceful, but it looks more like I'm in shock because of my O shaped mouth. I went back and tried to close my mouth. While typing I realized how painting can be compared to an art. You start with an idea, but it progresses; you just have to release yourself with the flows and surges.

Oh happy Spring!

Ah, first day of Spring and our first day of Spring in New England. If it's Spring then why is it still below freezing? Maybe Spring is hiding?



Or maybe it's just the Incredible Hulk. I can't decide.

19 March 2007

It starts with a little bit of flour



3 cups to be exact.
1 cup of organic canola oil
4 tbs of soy milk
2 tsp of salt
Combine salt and flour. Mix soymilk and oil and add to the flour. Roll half in ball and use roll out with a rolling pin. Prior to a rolling pin, I just used a full spaghetti sauce jar. It worked perfectly.

Roll out about 11 inches in diameter and then transfer it to a 9 inch pie pan.
Add peaches and berries.



Make sure mommy isn't looking...


Add sugar mixture to the fruit, but leave some for the top.
1/3 c flour
1/4 melted margarine
1 c turbinado sugar
1/2 t cinnamon
1/4 t nutmeg
dash of ginger
Since we don't have a microwave we melted the margarine in the preheated oven. Combine ingredients and crumble the sugar mixture with fingers for a good mix.


Roll out the other half of the pie crust and lay on top. Poke holes for ventilation. Add remaining sugar mixture on top.
Bake in over at 350 for 30 to 40 minutes until crust is golden brown.





Most importantly, remember don't give pie to a toddler before nap time. I can say that she has reached her processed sugar quota for the week.

18 March 2007

Nurse snow!

Winter's last crutch did not keep us inside. Fred wanted to make a snowperson to surprise Desi, but the snow was like powder. Desi loves snowpeople. She squeals with delight every time we pass one and is always asking to make one. One of her most requested songs is "Frosty the Snowman." I learned my lesson not to mention something to Desi until I am absolutely sure that we can follow through. (We were suppose to see Obama on Friday, but it was canceled do to the weather). Desi was content with brushing snow off the cars, sledding and going for a walk.

It was my first time sledding ever! We just walked to Wasabi's bridge and took turns sledding down it. I think we had more fun than Desi. It was a very gentle slope, but it still thrilled the family from sunny Texas. Walking back took a long time because we had to pick up Desi each time she planted her face in the snow.

Daddy: Desi, do you want to walk or me carry you?
Desi: Mina walk.
Daddy: But you keep putting your face in the snow.
Desi: I nurse snow!

My Noella

Noella______ , 27, of Justin, died Thursday, March 15, 2007, in _________.

Noella was born Jan. 13, 1980, in Abilene, Texas, to_____ and ____ . She was the manager of a Taco Bueno in ________. She graduated from Northwest High School in 1998 and attended the University of ________.

Visitation will be held from 5 to 7 p.m., Sunday, March 18, at Goen-Hudgens Funeral Home, _________. A graveside service will be at 11 a.m., Tuesday, March 20, at ______ Cemetery.

The Rev Ricky Franklin will officiate.

Noella is survived by her parents, _____ and ______ of Justin; brother_______ of Asuti Naval Station, Japan; sisters, _______ of Pearl, Miss., and ______ of Cocoa, Fla.

Services are provided by Goen-Hudgens Funeral Home. To offer online condolences, please visit www.goen-hudgensfuneralhome.com.

17 March 2007

What's up with all the rooms?

This is a reoccurring theme in my dreams. My family is usually involved. We move into a new home, and we find all these hidden or unused rooms. Last night, my parents were staying the night with us. We all slept in the same room on a small bunk bed. Desi was on the corner of the bed. Fred was annoyed because he hadn't done anything in a long time. Like magic, we discovered a hidden room that we didn't know existed. It had a bed and everything. Fred said he was going to sleep there tonight, but I told him that my parents would take the bed, and he could sleep with me. He asked about Ivy. I think another room appeared. We just had to ask them if they wanted to sleep there. It was in the morning and Ivy was still asleep.

Somehow I pissed my mom off. She took a knife and threatened to slice various body parts off. I told her I did not care and that she could do what she wanted. It was not until she said that she would slice my stomach open than I got scared. I knew it was an empty threat, but I thought that because my C-section scar was so vulnerable and delicate she may accidentally open it up and something would happen to the baby.

16 March 2007

On the news tonight

News article

Don't you fucking hate it when you know the person in the news is your friend? I got the call late last night. I called my sister and told her the news. Actually Fred had to tell her the news. I couldn't get past, "Noella." It's much easier to type because I can type through my sobs. I hope Ivy is doing okay.

Noella was beautiful from the inside out. She was the type of person that when you are around her, you feel so much love and vibration emitting out of her.

When we moved, we recently decluttered. I hope my decluttering does not include getting rid the things she gave me. I just want something from her that I can hold on to.

14 March 2007

Well duh?

Last night while practice my relaxation I realized something. Yes, I know that I'm suppose to empty out my mind, but that is something that I just cannot do. Honestly, I don't think you ever empty your mind. You will always have thoughts running through your head. My thoughts were not rush hour traffic this time. I had one clear thought. "It's okay to give yourself to someone. There is a difference between someone taking it away from me and me giving it to somebody." There are times where I get so angry at Fred for hitting on me. I feel dirty and ashamed, when I should feel sexy and beautiful. I love him with all that I know, but I haven't given myself to him. I don't know if I ever did, sadly. I didn't even give myself to my child when it was time to give birth. No, it's not guilt talking. I had to be in control of my body. In the end, the doctor ended up having control, slicing my body. Something as simple as giving yourself to someone is an issue I need to work past. *** took away much more than my dignity and self-worth. He not stole something from me, but he took away something from my husband and child. I will not give him that power anymore. I don't even know where he is, but he still had it simply because I never allowed myself to trust again. But the difference between *** and my family is that, I will give and they will give back. How come it took me so long to realize something so simple?

13 March 2007

At least she knows her name

Desi was getting into something that she shouldn't have. (Surprise, Surprise).
Me: Hands off, please.
Her: Mommy?!!!! (Her way of saying, "Back off!")
Me: Desmina [middle name]
Her: [Last name!]
I couldn't help but laugh.

12 March 2007

Is it Spring yet?

I hope we are not being fooled by Jack Frost. We have nine more days until Spring is officially here, but that won't stop Jack from his nasty trickeries. Today was one such a beautiful day! We spent most of our time outside. I walked with the downstairs neighbor around the Green. Then the girls played their funk out. It made for an awesome nap, considering Desi's nap suck yesterday no thanks to Daylight Savings Time.
Eventually I will enjoy having more light, but right now I just want that freaking hour back.

After her nap, we hit the outdoors again. We walked Wasabi's bridge and back. Desi got tired towards the end, even though it's not that far. But I kept pushing her to walk telling her that at there were bubbles at the house. This didn't work because she wanted to get there faster. What's faster than having mommy carry you when you have no car. What did motivate her was me telling her that walking is healthy. She is obsessed with what is healthy and what is not. She will tell me that random things are healthy. "Xylophone is healthy."

Her outside adventure ended in a sour note when she fell in a puddle. She was trying to push her doll stroller into the snowbanks. After ramming it into the snow it bounced back. It threw off her balance and she ended in the puddle that she was trying to swim in a few moments earlier.

I am hoping all this play will make her sleep well tonight. I think it's just making her hungry. She keeps trying to steal dinner ingredients. Tonight we are having fresh veggiewraps and pho, a Vietnamese soup. I have been craving it for months and finally got all the ingredients we need. My mouth is watering just thinking of it! It's almost done!

08 March 2007

Her cuteness

I just wanted to take a moment to remember how she says certain things. I love how she forms her mouth into a perfect "O" when she says that she imitates "Hatta Clause." Ho! Ho! Ho! I love how she says Oi-Lo when she sees me rubbing oil on my belly. I love how she tells me what the baby is hungry for. Usually it's wogurt (yogurt). Yesterday it was wogurt and carrot juice. For the longest time she used to ask to "nee." She was my little knight. Then it changed to "urse." She can now say nurse. When she asks us to read, its read her a "gook."

06 March 2007

New York, New York!


For my birthday, Fred took me to the city. We left Friday afternoon by train.


It was nice to leave the icy tundra behind

and go to warmer weathers. We didn't arrive in NY until close to nine and Sunday we wanted to be to the bus station by ten, so Saturday was the only day we had. The train was delayed for technical problems, but Desi did well.

Did you know that most Manhattan hotels do not have pools? I did not. I got my daughter's hopes up that we would swim. We found out there was no pool, but when we told the hotel they made sure we had a room with a tub. So she did get to go swimming...

Kind of.

The hotel was indeed the nicest place I have ever stayed at. I have never been to a place where everything cost money. They had intimacy kits for eight dollars...something Fred and I didn't have to worry about. It's a little too late for us for a condom. Just a bit.
Desmina totally dug the bed. It was cute. She was just chilling. I wish I got a side view of her cuteness.

Next day, we headed out to meet John for breakfast and see the city. Weather was perfect! The high was in the 50s. So nice to walk around without all the snow gear. Desmina loved it! She was able to run around without any constriction. Well we did put her teddy bear backpack on her which has a tail/leash. She loves it and we feel like it's the best way to be independent yet safe in such a fast moving city. I thought we would never get a harness. We stay make her follow the rules and hold our hand to cross the street.




We met John at a vegan bakery called Baby Cakes .



We ordered a blueberry muffin, a blueberry crumb cake and a cinnamon roll for breakfast and split it among the three of us. Actually Desi just had the muffin. Don't want to see her on a sugar high. After we left, I ordered a lemon cupcake to go.

John and me. I went to high school prom with him. He was high school valedictorian in the year behind me. See his shirt? It says ambiguous. He is very proud of his shirt.

We went to the park and let Desi play.


We saw our first drunk. He was yelling at the top of his lungs. Ahh, to be in NY.
Desmina also met a lady who kept giving her food. She would then come to us with her stash of candy, a boiled egg, a banana and powdered donuts. We tried to return it, but I don't think the woman spoke English.


There was a line at the mission city while Desi was playing, but by the time we were ready to leave the park, they had gone inside. We felt bad for throwing all that food out.

We walked over to Teany's for lunch. It is Moby's restaurant. I ordered the "chicken" salad melt with lavender lemonaide and Fred ordered the "turkey" sandwich. It was very good. Desi wasn't interested in the food and Fred couldn't eat much. They just picked at his sandwich. I totally chowed though. Desi was more interest in the flowers. Forgive the dumb lok on my face. I was trying to get her to pay attention to the camera.


After lunch we walked back to the hotel and let her sleep. Wait! I forgot to tell you about our subway adventure. First we got off too early. Fred didn't realize that Delancey was a few stops down so we had to pay to get on the subway twice. Being the cheapskate I am, I was a bit annoyed. They happened to be working on the subway that day, so the F train changed to the A train. We had to take the A train a few stops past our stop and then get off of the train that was the A train (but should have been the F train) and on the F train heading uptown to get back to our stop. Following me? Fortunately, the people on the subway was very nice and explained to us what was happening. We couldn't understand the guy on the train. His voice was too deep. We arrived at our destination at the perfect time. Thank goodness we left early. The ride back to the hotel was much easier...only one train!

After Desi's nap, we walked around town some more before dinner. We searched high and low for a journal for Blanket. I still don't have one. We did manage to get the supplies needed for our house blessing. We just need to get the rose oil, and we are set.

Empire State building from below.

We had dinner reservations at seven at Blossoms. We arrived half an hour early. I didn't feel like walking more. I was having weird lateral cramps on top of braxton hicks. We asked if they could seat us early. They told us to wait 15 minutes to get the table ready. It turned out it was a misunderstanding. They thought we had seven people in our party. They felt bad so we got a few freebies.
For our appetizer, we had seitan satay. I ordered the Porcini Filet, Fred ordered the Seitan Scapollini and we ordered tofu for the little one (which she just destroyed in her fingers). For dessert, I ordered cheesecake. Since the only thing Desi would eat was the strawberries from my cake, we asked for strawberries. They brought it out in a neat blossom design. Of course, she didn't bother to enjoy the presentation and just dug in. We didn't have to pay for any of her food, the cheesecake or our drinks.

After dinner, Desi walked for half a mile! She was having so much fun on her hunt for babies and dogs. I knew that was something I could deliver.

Okay, I look horrible in all the pictures. It wasn't a good photo weekend of me. Kind of sad that I didn't get any belly pictures either.


Next day we woke up later than I wanted to. I didn't sleep to well because Fred kept going to the bathroom. He didn't feel too good and didn't eat much at all that day. We wanted to wake up and grab breakfast out. Since Fred wasn't feeling too good, Desi and I just ate at the hotel. It was a bit steep price to pay, but Fred insisted. Desmina totally got the royal treatment. They kept bringing her out berries. They better with the price we're paying for breakfast! Fortunately, they didn't charge for her, but did for me.

We didn't get to walk around the city like I planned either even though we left the hotel early. We just walked to the station and waited for the train to come. I had to laugh at the announcements. There was a reminder that we shouldn't let anyone help with our baggage unless they were wearing a uniform. Um, duh?
It was a good thing we left after all because our train arrived early and the guy in the approved uniform helped us score some good seats. We were later joined by a NYC firefigher who I think was hoping I would go into labor. Desi absolutely adored him and he returned the feelings. He helped the trip go by faster since Desi's attention was all on him.

We even exchanged numbers. He seems pretty cool and you can tell that he is family oriented . He talked about his nephews often. He lives in VT, but commutes to work weekly and he misses them while he is in VT. They live in NYC.
I was a little worried what he would think of a nursing toddler, but he thought it was great and good for her immune system. Nice to know someone in the paramedic field know the benefits of extended nursing. Okay, I wasn't worried but I didn't want to hear some stupid comment. I was a bit embarrassed though when Desi was pulling at my shirt trying to expose my nipple so that she could nurse. She has never done that. She usually is very patient and lets me take lead.

I think she was showing off. She kept trying to get him to blow raspberries, or zuperts as she calls them, on her belly. She kept lifting her shirt up, exposing her belly. We seriously need to teach the child modesty and Stranger Danger.

By the time our stop arrived, Desi about had it with traveling. She was quite irritable and tired of being in one place for long. She was happy to be outside, only to be swooped up again and strapped in her car seat. Not music to our ears. All this traveling did help her go to bed with no fuss, sometime that is very rare in our house. Fred and I were able to chill and watch The Departed. Powerful cast, good writing and excellent music.