Things a Toddler Says

To celebrate Earth Day we had a picnic in the park to avoid using lights and the oven to cook. We used Tupperware to contain the food so that we wouldn't use plastic bags for our vegetable wraps.

Desi is wearing a dress. As we are walking to the park, she is lifting her dress all the way up to her chest.

Me: Please put your dress down.
Her: But I'm nursing the snowman.

Where did she come up with that one?

Things a Toddler Say

[After going potty.]
M: Potty is like soup!
Me: Potty is like soup?
M: Yes, soup is like carrots.
Me: Carrot soup?
M: No pea soup. (is this her first pun?)
M: B and I are peas. B pea and M pea.

Uh remind me not to eat her soup.

Things a Toddler Say

While getting M for bed.
M: I need jamas on me.
Me: Put Jamas on?
M: [mishearing] No I'm not a banana. I'm drunk.

The things a toddler says

Fred got up early this morning so I could get a little extra sleep. As soon as I wake up:
M: I want to nurse!
Me: Can I get some breakfast first?
M: I want to nurse!
Me: Didn't you eat breakfast already?
M: I want breastfast!

The things a toddler says

While sitting on her potty chair.
M: My penis
Me: You don't have a penis
M: Buy, me a penis.

The things a toddler says

While nursing she wants to switch sides. I know that B will wake up soon and want to nurse so I tell her that is his side.
Me: Let's leave it for the baby.
M: This side is Mina's. This side is Bodhi's.
Me: No. This side is for Bodhi's
M: No. Mine!
Me: Actually. They're mine.
M: Actually. They're Mina's.

The things a toddler says

A car is coming into Fred's lane.
Daddy: Jesus! Learn how to drive [insert choice words here]!
M: Jesus. Baby, Don't say that!!!

Yesterday, I gave Fred a bite of my burrito.
M: Daddy, don't eat mommy's burrito!

When the midwives came on Friday.
M: Holy shit! My midwives are here!