What I fear in a home birth

I was just thinking about my fears as I was soaking in the bath. Some of them are neurotic, I know. I have bathroom issues. I clean our bathroom at least twice a week. I was thinking whether or not the bathtub would be clean enough for me to labor in. Even though I take baths in them, Desmina takes baths, and the new baby will take baths I still wonder. I doubt the bathroom will be big enough for the midwife and Fred to be with me while I am laboring. Besides the shower curtains, although new look to me as though it can be a transporter of germs. I'm sure it is! My solution: rent a birthing tub from Jeanne. We can set it up in the living room. Problem solved there, I guess.

I worry that the baby will be breech and my dreams for a home birth will be stolen from me. In NH, midwives are not allowed to deliver breech or twins in the home. My solution: chiropractor adjustments.

My biggest fear is whether or not I will be able to push a head out. What if I tear? What if the baby gets stuck? I need a mantra. I believe in myself. I believe in my body.

Oh what fun it is to ride in a one-dad open sleigh!

What moves you?

The baby likes Obama! As soon as Blanket heard him speak s/he started kicking. I am going to turn my children to be Obama cheerleaders. I even taught Desi to say his name tonight. Next step, teach her to cheer and clap whenever she sees him on TV.

Poking fun at Bush

I posted this because this has Desmina's favorite so on it.

Toddler Fashion

If she had her way, she would get to wear a Halloween shirt every day. I have three in rotation. MIL just sent another pumpkin shirt to add to her collection.
This morning she wanted to wear one of her Halloween shirts. I had to convince her that a penguin and an igloo are much cooler than any of her Halloween shirts.

Yes, those are socks on her feet. I have no idea why. She just wanted them on.

Because it's Christmas,

What are your sins?

Greed:	Medium
Gluttony:	Low
Wrath:	Medium
Sloth:	Medium
Envy:	Low
Lust:	Very Low
Pride:	Medium

The Seven Deadly Sins Quiz on 4degreez.com

Best Christmas present ever

I'm going to be an aunt!!!!!

Safe keeping my ass

I put stuff away knowing that I would be sending it to people. Of course, I can't find it amidst the chaos we call our home. It's scrapbook hell in our house right now. I was hoping to ship them with today's last minute shipping.
So Adrianna, if you are reading this I won't be shipping of those tests I promised. I cannot for the life of me remember where I put those stupid things. I was hoping to send them and sprinkle it with good luck. Hopefully, by the time I find them you won't need them anyways.

Desmina was freaking out because she saw the Gameboy we were returning to K. She doesn't even play the damn thing, why the temper? She isn't feeling to well anyways. She has explosive diapers and projecting vomit. It's been over a week for the vomit, which is happening off and on. I was blaming on food, but I cannot think of what she has eaten that can make her sick. At least I don't have to have the guilt that I'm giving her spoiled food. Now the guilt has transfered to me not taking her to the doctor. I hope it passes this weekend. She cannot afford to lose anymore weight! If you know me, you know that this is the biggest struggle with her. Although she has a never filling pit when it comes to feeding her usually. She isn't eating as well. And everyone who knows Desmina that is she isn't eating, there is something wrong. Either she is sick or the world is ending. The sky, sun and moon are intact so we're safe from the latter.

Oh shit

Holiday baking isn't going as planned. First the banana didn't make it home. I use it as an egg substitute. I ended up using soy protein; I'm crossing my fingers that they will turn out okay. The dough tastes delicious; let's just the chemistry is right.

This morning Desmina helped decorated the cookies. Of course, I'm too busy messing with the camera to notice that she has dumped half of the colored sugar on one cookie! The cookies look great though. Some are saturated with sugar, and some barely have any.

I'm waiting for the cookies to bake now. So far it's been 21 minutes...almost twice the timea than the average cooking time. But the cookies are thicker, if I'm not deluding myself.
Good! They look done. Just have to wait for it to cool.

Tonight we are going to bake cookies. Desi is going to help decorate. Tomorrow we're going to more winter decorations and do some more baking. I think we are going to make Almond Rocca and brownies. I hope we can veganize it.
Desi will make ornaments while we work on that.
Happy Yule to you!

Ah Christmas cheer

Can you believe we only have four more days until Christmas?
I decided to start the presents tonight. Christmas presents are going to be going to the family late , but my deadline is to finish them by tomorrow so that I can send them out by Saturday. There is no well in bloody hell am I going to the stupid post office by myself with Desmina, the Cling-on. Besides we need to make baked goods to add to the box as to off set the lameness of our presents. It's just framed scrapbook pages. We may even be cutesy and have Desmina make an ornament.
Fucking printer!!!!
Why don't you just print like you're suppose to?
It ate my paper! And now it's making a funny noise. I think I broke it. I had to unplug it to get the damn thing to shut up. I plugged it in again and it's still making demonic noises.

Desmina's Menagerie

I call our bed the zoo now. She insists on them every night and now naptime. It's the Usual Suspects: Elmo (which of course it's the talking Elmo and if you accidentally lie on him it hurts like hell), Birthday Bear, Wish Bear and of course Wasabi by her feet. We just moved up from a Queen to a King, but lost space because of her entourage.
Oh and she won't go to sleep until she makes sure they have been tucked in and have their pillows. Sometimes she shares a blanket with them, sometimes they get their own.

Didn't I tell you looks were deceiving?

What do you think of her baby powder footprints? Stupid me left the baby powder on the coffee table. I am at the computer and she is in it. I don't have to turn around; I can smell it. I tell her to put it back on the table. I think she thinks I have eyes in the back of my head. Now I know how my mom knew about all the shit I did when I was a kid. Moms just knows. They have spidey senses.

Looks can be deceiving

I love watching her sleep. It's one of the rare times when there is peace in the house. She has taken to tormenting Wasabi. I think nap time is his favorite time too. You can't see him in the picture, but he is curled by her feet. I do love her toddlerness though (at times).
Yesterday at dinner Fred and I tried to coax her to eat her risotto. She flat out told us, "I don't want it!" We were so excited that she said a whole sentence so perfectly. And of course, for those who have toddlers...there is no such thing as force feeding a toddler. She ended up eating a banana instead, which of course half of it was thrown to Wasabi.

What's the difference between $.002 and .002 cents?

Bad Math

Apparently these people just don't get it.

Wasabi stole her banana

That was her dream last night. She woke up in the middle of the night screaming about her banana and that Wasabi ate it. It was so heartbreaking. I had to tell her it was just a dream. Poor Wasabi, he thought he was in trouble.

What was I thinking?

Runs through my head sometimes. Especially on the days when all I hear is screeching. Oops. Her water fell on the floor after swiped it off the table. Then of course more screeching for God knows what. Did I mention that she is destructive? As I am typing..CRASH CRASH... she is throwing shit on the floor. Oh and she stole my sock. My left foot is freezing. She doesn't remember where she put it.

Dinner and a movie

Tonight I made vegan pot pie. It's baking in the oven now. I am going to sauteé green beans with a garlic lemon butter sauce.
If Desmina goes to bed early, we are going to watch Big Night with Tony Shalhoub and Stanley Tucci. Most people know I have a small crush on Tony as Monk. Who can resist a man who is intelligent, paranoid and clean?

I'm having too much fun!

It's okay to cry

William wants a doll

Thank goodness Desi is a girl

or she'll be gay!
You've got to love the T-shirts they sell too.

Me!

After speaking to three midwives, I think we found our perfect fit, Jeanne Brown. It was actually a toss up between her and another local midwife, Amy Healey. Amy just had this beautiful energy to her. You could tell that she was consumed with such love for children and everyone. Jeanne was great too. She also had a wonderful energy going on for her as well. She seems very enthusiastic in her practice and outlook on life. We went with Jeanne because of insurance. Honestly, I'm glad that we had a deciding factor for us. I do not know who we would have chosen. Fortunately, I will be able to use Amy as the assisting midwife. I want Amy's presence there as well. They both have such a special kind of energy that I will welcome during my labor.

Baby it's cold outside

Well not weather. It's actually pretty nice today minus the rain. I just wanted an opportunity to show off the beautiful view outside my kitchen window. This is Desmina's and my favorite window to look outside of. Desmina loves it because of the collie outside. She loves to bang on the window and call out to him or her. I love it because it overlooks the garden. Can you the little bench? It just seems like a perfect place to meditate.
Bonus: If you look closely in the reflection you can see a picture of me and my little bump.

Alas

Our camera has arrived! It's a Fuji S6000

The memory card hasn't arrived yet, so I can only take a few pictures at a time then upload it to the computer. I love the contrast in focus between these two different pictures. This was even before I had a chance to play with the aperture. I'm still trying to figure out how to change it in the program mode.

It's the Holidays

Last night we went to see Chirstmas lights. It was very heavily Christian based. I was a bit disappointed because I thought it was going to be a neighborhood of lights. Instead it was a church that put on a display of lights. It was a still impressive display though. I didn't mind the Christian aspects either.
For dinner we had baked acron squash stuffed with tofu, onions and corn drizzled with maple syrup and rice on the side. I added cinnamon and allspice to my stuffing to compliment the flavor of the maple syrup.

Okay for a little Holiday Cheer here are links to two dancing elves.
Mina
Wasabi

Happy Birthday Wasabi

Today Wasabi turns five. We didn't get to have a party like I planned. I didn't get to the planning part, being so busy with the move. We didn't even get him a present. Poor boy. He did get three treats this morning, soft food in the morning, left overs (which I try to avoid giving him), soft food with his dry food in the evening and we sang happy birthday to him several times. He got more cuddles than he usually does.
Desmina drew him a picture on her magnadoodle. Damn I wish I had the camera.

First taste of real winter

and I love it! I wish I had my camera. It was so beautiful today! It's amazing to see the trees glistening with snow. The ground was covered with a nice quilt of snow. I loved seeing the Wasabi and Desmina prints. Poor Desmina fell a couple of times while walking Wasabi. It made me realize how much we need ski pants. We were well layered so the cold didn't feel bad even though the windchill made it feel like 1 outside! So far the wind isn't as bad as Texas. Poor Wasabi was shivering his curly tail off though. I need to find his sweater, or get him a new one.

Later I put on the snowsuit that Vennittah sent Desi. She looked so darn cute in it, like a fluffy pink marhmellow. She had trouble navigating in her suit and kept falling. She didn't seem to mind though. We only stayed out for a few minutes and she got bored. She didn't seem too interest in the snow. I need to learn the secret of making snow people. I couldn't even make a ball of snow. So if anyone has any tips, I would love to hear them!