My heart hurts today

I feel so guilty for feeing sad too. I know of mothers who lose their children, or children who feel abandoned by their parents. I just miss Wasabi so much. I miss his little yawns that he used to do to greet us when we come home. The whole time we're home, he never yawned, but there was always his special yawn. He would continue to let his presence known until we greeted him.
I loved how he was all about Desmina. Everything that was hers he would want to snuggle in.


We came home one day, and he was nestled in her bouncer seat.
For Christmas, Mina got an Elmo chair. Wasabi managed to fit his fat rear end in her little chair. I never got to take pictueres though.


He loved to give her kisses.

He loved to steal her food.


He loved to snuggle with her.


He loved to snuggle with me.


He loved to snuggle with his Daddy.



Every she went, so did he...even though she didn't want him around.


And she would follow him everywhere he went.


He was our baby.

RIP Wasabi

The worst case scenario came. We didn't want him to suffer. His liver was shot and they couldn't stop the bleeding.

Gorilla was one of Wasabi's favorite toys. He will be stuffed with Wasabi's ashes so that Wasabi will always have his Gorilla.




Wasabi,
You gave us your best years of your life and in return, we gave you our best.
Every day we spent with us, you gave us love. You died knowing our love for you is strong. You will not be forgotten. You will always be loved.
Goodbye, goodnight and good luck my special one.

Damn

Wasabi's red blood cells are still low. It's at 18%. Yesterday it was at 20 something percent. He is still losing blood. They think it's gastrointestinal now. They will do the last of the blood this morning and we have to make a decision tonight if we ant to take him to the emergency vet in Concord. He needs to be generating his own blood cells. Problem is that he is losing blood so I don't know if he isn't generating or if it's because he is losing blood.
I don't even want to think what the other option is.

More on Wasabi

This was shot the day before yesterday. It's hard to believe how much energy he had that day and then seeing him so sick last night.



Wasabi is home now. He will go in to the vet again tomorrow for more blood. They are doing it a little at a time so that they won't hurt his little body.
He seems to be doing much better. He tried to run into the room after he heard Desmina crying. I don't know if he thought she was laughing and he wanted to play or if he wanted to make sure she was okay. He was still hooked to the IV so Fred had to stop him.

It's good to see him improving no matter how little it was. I admit, I was hoping for a big drastic change. I will take what I can get. I hope that he made it through the hardest part. I don't think I can relax until I know 100% and then give me another week.

Sorry that my blog is consumed about Wasabi right now. He is always on my mind. I am glad that we didn't make any weekend plans. I am not comfortable leaving him home alone right now.

Wasabi update

Wasabi made it through the night. I do not know if he is getting better; I can't tell. Fred took him to the vet this morning. The vet said that Wasabi was cold, but he set up a heating pad and now he is comfortable. Wasabi needed a blood transfusion. I think the tech's dog is going to donate. The vet told us that they are unsure how well the transfusion is going to go. There is a slight risk because although they may have the same blood type, there is another factor they aren't able to check like they can in humans. Wasabi needs the blood though. He lost a lot of blood last night in his stools. The vet thinks that this will help Wasabi feel better. If Wasabi improves, we may get to take him home for the night.
My stomach is knotted from crying all night. If I think too much about it, I start crying again.

My Poor Wasabi.

We had to take Wasabi to the vet today. Fred was putting Desmina's nighttime diaper on her. He came into her bedroom and found a lethargic Wasabi lying next to her trampoline with two huges piles of vomit. I ran to him and cuddled him in my arms. He felt so limp next to me. I tried to stand him on his feet, but he would collapse down on the floor. His breathing was labored and his tounge all pale.

Now usually his tongue is sticking out to the side, but there is some life to it. It looks very limp compared to how it usually is. I love his snaggle tooth and how his tongue hand out.

Fred was at the vet for three hours. They gave Wasabi an IV to hydrate him, chest X-rays and blood samples. The test came back with something wrong with his liver. The numbers were off the chart says the vet. Fred let me talk to the vet,whhich was not reassuring. He couldn't tell me how high of toxicity Wasabi's liver is at. I asked about his prognosis. Vet was unsure and that we have to wait a few days. If Wasabi gets better progressively over the next few days, then there is a good chance he will make it. Of course there is the negative side. The vet said that there is a chance that he may die. When I heard these words, I could hear nothing else. I am hoping that he is just giving me the worst case scenario. You know doctors.

Wasabi came home with an IV. We are taking turns staying with him to monitor. Right now he is snoring. I think that is a good sign because it shows that his breathing is getting stronger.
He drank some water which is another good sign and when I went to bed he tried to follow me. So he is able to get up. Do you think it's okay to get my hopes up now?

Wasabi is my baby. Fred and I got him together. We have had him for four years now. It will be five in September. I want to see him and Desi grow up together. I want Desi to have fun Wasabi memories. She adores Wasabi.
I have thought about what it would be like to get another dog. I cannot imagine another dog ever replacing Wasabi. He is the best doge ever. He is so great with Desmina, very patient. I cannot imagine any dog being as loving and patient with her. He is so cuddley. I cannot imagine any dog being as huggable.

Let's hope for the best for our Wasabi.

I am Dog parts

I am Dog tail

Dog Paws

Dog snout.