This is Halloween

For some reason I have to upload the pictures to Photobucket and then I have to use the HTML codes just to show pictures.

Anyways. These are the pumpkins we carved Sunday night. We made pumpkin seeds. Mina totally digs them. She painted her own pumpkin. We had purple handprints everywhere. There is still evidence on the stove because I'm too lazy to clean it off. I kind of like having it there actually. I just love her little hands. Her pumpkin took forever it to dry. It was glistening with paint.

Time with Julianna

We headed to Eugene Thursday morning. We hit the shops and then went to eat lunch. This place makes their own vegan burgers. I wasn't too impressed. It was a bit dry. Mina had tofu and rice. It was a bit bland, but it's nice they had the option.

Then we headed to see Julianna. It was a short drive. When we got there we knocked on the door. I think it was Michael on the other end who responded by saying, "knock knock." I knocked again, but still no response. Fred had to knock on the door so that Julianna could hear us. I have a quiet knock. LOL. It was cute hearing Michael.
Julianna's house is so warm! I love the hardwood floors and the windows. In the entrance, they have a mural of sunflowers. The boys were still in school so it was just Jonathon and Michael.


We chatted for a bit and then headed to the post office. Fred stayed at the house. Mina was going to stay with him, but she got upset. Julianna showed me her new house to be. It's gorgeous! It's a big project, but I know it's going to be worth it. I love the house!

Afterwards we went back to the house. Chatted, washed diapers, ate dinner, watched TV...just chilled. It was so nice to see the family get together. Mina got grumpy so we retired to the van. I think she had to nurse to sleep. She woke up several times.

Next day, we hung out some more. Julianna got the pattern from the growing green diaper. She gave me one too. I will try my hand at making a diaper. I just need to get some material. The kids colored some. Time went by fast! Julianna had to get to the house by noon so Fred and I went to the co-op. We then met her at the house. Fred loved the house too. Poor Mina fell in the driveway. She skinned her knee a bit. We then left for Portland.

Portland isn't as nice as the rest of Oregon. It's too big. We didn't get to find much. We wanted to find a cloth diaper store, but wasn't able to until the next day. It wasn't open then. We went out to eat at Blossoming Lotus. It's the sister store to the place we went to in Hawaii. The service wasn't as friendly. The server was a bit of a snob it seemed.. It was just a hoity toity place. Food was good though. We had a sunflower pate, hummus and some salad that came with it. I had the raw pasta and Fred had the BBQ tempehi. Mina had some temeph and rice.

Next day, we looked for the Saturday Market. Unfortunately, Fred had the wrong address so we weren't able to make it. We did find a good breakfast place though. The server there was really nice. She is from Arlington, Texas. She even gave us a discount at the end! I had their vegan pancakes and potatoes. Mina had potatoes and guac, and Fred had gravy and biscuits. Mina and I shared carrot juice....and she had some OJ. It was nice to get fresh juice while on the road.
Afterwards we headed to the natural baby store, but it was closed so we went to the airport. No problems at the airport. It's so much nicer than DFW though.

Coasting

After visiting Mount Saint Helens we drove along the coast. We stopped in Astoria for the night. Astoria is a very cute city. We stopped to see the Goonies House and where they filmed Kindergarten Cop. We climbed the 164 steps to the tower and looked at the view. It was a nice climb.

Next day we headed south to Tilamook. On the way, we stopped at a beach to look at the rock formations. It was so hard to keep Desmina from running into the water. She is drawn to the water. When we got in Tilamook, we stopped in for coffee. Mina had her first taste of soy steamer. She really enjoyed it. She gulped it right down. The woman working behind the counter suggested we go see a waterfall. It's the tallest waterfall in Oregon. It was only a quarter mile hike to get to the fall. It was beautiful.

Then we headed down to Salem to go see the Sea Lions Caverns. We stopped in Lincoln City to see the Devil's Punch Bowl. The tide was too low so it wasn't too impressive. Mina met a dog that loved her. Afterwards we tried to go see the tide pools but they said that the tide was too high for that. We couldn't go see the lighthouse because they wouldn't let us carry Mina to the top. She had to be 42 inches to be able to climb the steps. We just went to the Sea Lions Caverns instead. I wanted to stop so many times from Astoria to Salem, but Fred made a good point saying that if we kept stopping we would never get there. All of Oregon is beautiful.

Sea Lions Caves were fun. They took us down in an elevator town into the caverns where the sea lions come in. It was a bit eerie because it was so dark, but once I saw the sea lions I was okay. There was a few vegging on the rock. You could see them come into the cave. I paid a quarter to look into the telescope. It was so cute to see them up close. You could see them talking to each other. When we left the cavern, we could see the sea lions jumping in and out of the water. I like how uninvasive the tourist attraction was.

We stayed in Salem for the night and headed to Eugene the next day.

Headed North

After we left Grechen's place on Sunday, we headed north to meet Fred's boss and his family. They live in Bellvile, Wa. His boss was totally someone I was not expecting. He had a lot more hair! They are a natural living family. They cloth diaper and home birth. I was so stoked to find that out.

He took us out to a Mandarin restaurant. It was very yummy. I had this pickle salad and a curry soup with rice noodles. Fred had some type of tofu dish.

Afterwards we headed north more. We were planning on going to Canada, but found out that we couldn't leave the area. We stayed the night just south of Bellingham. Next day we headed out and spent the day there. We did a small hike to see a waterfall, that wasn't really a waterfall. We went to the river to see if we can see the salmon jumping, but they didn't. We played at a park with Mina. It is a beautiful city.
Washington State overall is beautiful. Fred and I just love all the leaves. We don't get to see leaves like that in the south. They just turn brown and fall off there.

We ended the day by heading down south to pick up my glasses at Grechen's. Avery was asleep so Mina didn't get to play with her. She played outside a bit with Maya though. Then we headed down towards Mount Saint Helens to stay for the night.

Mina meets Eve-re and Mikemo

When we arrived in Portland, I got Julianna's message that she would not be meeting us at the airport. We decided to stay in Portland and hang out. We grabbed some Taco Bell because we were starving since we had no time for breakfast. We left for Washington around two. We were going to meet Grechen and crew to try to make it to the Children's Theatre.

The drive to Tacoma was a long one. Mina was irritable. She is cutting four teeth. How come every time we are on the road she is teething? By the time we got to Grechen's place she was ready to get out! She was not shy at all. She totally destroyed Avery's room. Avery and Maya were at play with their dad but arrived later.

Grechen made a delicious soup. It was sooooo good! Desmina totally chowed. She had two bowls and then swiped Avery's and Maya's since they didn't want theirs. Afterwards we all hung out. Avery is so smart! It's just amazing what the girl can say. Grechen was sharing some stories that was just shocking. She knows her planets, the concept of what the universe is. I have been around toddlers who speak well for their age, but never around someone so amazing. I can't quite put my finger on it, but there is something different about Avery. She is very intelligent. Maya is just as amazing. She just draws people to her. You want to be around her. It's not just charisma, which she has. It's something magical it seems. Maya and Avery are definitely Crystal children.

We did not get to see Julianna until the next day. Grechen and the girls left early with Austin to head out to her dad's. We stayed and took showers. Michael is such a sweet boy! Desmina was having trouble with her banana and he told her he would open it for he. It was just so cute watching him peel a banana and then hand it over to her. He is a smart boy too and very verbal. Desmina's vocabulary is actually picking up from the trip. I think she feels the pressure from Avery and Michael.

We met Grechen at Mighty 0's where we met last year. It's a vegan doughnut shop. I had a chocolate covered doughnut and a glazed doughnut. It was good, but way too sweet. Afterwards, we headed to the park. Mina napped while the kids played. She was in great need of one.

We had lunch at the Pita Pit. It was not very good, but it was what we needed. We went back to Tacoma. Fred made us all chili. After dinner we all chatted a bit and then went to bed. Grechen told us something that made me cry about Avery. She asked Avery what it was like in her womb. Avery told her she was swimming like a dolphin. I was just blown away! I wonder if Desmina will be able to remember when she is able to tell us.

Next day we hung out and then had brunch at Quickies. The food was a bit pricey, but I really loved the pancakes and French toast. We headed back to their place to pack up the car and head up to Seattle and meet Fred's boss.

Ever since, Mina has been asking for Eve-re and Mikemo. She talks about Lily too. While we were staying with them she would wake up early in the morning calling their names. It's so cute. She has new names to add to her friend inventory. Sometimes Desmina will name people she knows. We call it her friend inventory list. It's just so cute.

In the nick of time

Friday morning Desmina woke up crying. Thank goodness! We had half an hour to get ready to head off to the airport. We hustled and of course there was traffic on the way to Fred's sister, who was taking us to the airport. Fortunately she only lives ten minutes from there.

When we arrived at the airport we had about forty minutes to get our bags checked and go to security. The rule at the airport is that you have to check in forty three minutes before your flight. We barely made it! So far so good, but then there was the menacing security line. And just our luck, all but two of the checkpoint lines were closed. We were not moving an inch! I kept checking the time and holding my breath. At first I was laid back, but as it got closer to the time with our flight leaving I became more agitated. Finally they opened the rest of the lines and the line started moving faster. I had to chuck my unopened Dr. Pepper. When we passed through security we had just enough time to run to the gate. They were already looking for us. It was nice not to have to wait at the airport or on the plane for take off. But I don't think the rush and stress is worth it.

Saint Helens

When Desmina was a newborn and would have her explosive poops, we would say she Mount St. Helened in her pants. We visited Mount Saint Helens yesterday. The drive up was beautiful despite the fog. The fog actually made the view spectacular. Mountains were hidden among the fog and you can see it when the fog would lift. At one point it was so foggy, I suggested we stop because it was so hard to see. Fred said we could go on a little longer. A few seconds later the fog seemed to part and the sun was dazzling! We could finally see Mt St. Helens in the background. It was far, but we could see the smoke coming up.

We visited the two visitor centers to learn more about Saint Helens. We were only able to see the top of the crater because the rest of it was covered in clouds. It was still worth the drive. I do wish we could have seen the whole volcano. Some day...

Pictures to come!

Dreaming

I am pregnant with my ex's baby. He is a deadbeat and I am talking to his ex. He isn't taking care of her or their children. My ex promises to marry me and take care of the baby and Desmina over the phone. For some reason I believe him, but don't want to hurt his ex's feelings. So I pretend not to.

I am in a high secure area. They are guards at every entrance and exit. I am what is being protected. I am walking around holding Desmina's hand. I feel that we are being watched, but think it's just my paranoia. All of a sudden there is an alarm. Someone has snuck in. I have to hide! There is a woman chasing me. She looks like Michelle R from Lost. She is shouting making people think that it is me who broke into the area. The fastest way to escape for me is to jump over the banister and hope I don't get hurt. Desmina is still with me. She is being quiet now, but what if she starts babbling? Am I able to jump with her? I am able to rewind time and find Fred. I thrust Desmina into his arms and run. Then jump over the banister. The woman chasing me doesn't want to jump so she takes the long way down. I am able to hide in a broom closet. Desmina is on my mind. Did I really give her to Fred or did I dream that? Everything fades away and I wake up.

We have hope in our future

Our neighbor is a broker. We decided to finally talk to him, before we moved to set up accounts. After speaking with him, we are confident that we can set up several funds for our family. We decided to have a fund for life insurance, a retirement fund, and a college fund for Mina.
He was telling us that he tells his clients to have 3 "buckets:" a now bucket, later bucket and a never bucket. The now bucket you should try to set up money in account that equals up to 3 times your pay. I don't think we can do this, unless we sell our house with a profit. So we hope to use the money we get from that if we get a profit. The later means anything in the future: car, house, children's wedding...etc. The never bucket is your retirement and life insurance. He says that we can do it if we set aside 10% of our income every month. We live paycheck to paycheck now, but I think that we can make it work. We just have to budget better. Fred got a raise a few months ago and we just made increased our cost of living. So Fred and i agreed to automatically take the 10% out of his paycheck and move it. This way we have to live like that. Broker said that with the 10% you can retire with a good lump of money

Beautiful. Simply Beautiful

Last night, a few minutes before minute I shared with a family the birthing of their daughter. It was amazing! The mom was in the tub the whole time. When it came time to push, she knew exactly what to do. All of a sudden a gush of brown (ore green) came out. Her water broke. A few moments later, you could see the head emerging. Baby didn't cry at all. The mom made laboring and birthing so easy. Sure, she made some groans and yelled a little. With Desmina I yelled, I cursed, I cried. She gave me hope that I can do it as well. She had a very short labor, but intense labor. She worked very hard.
I cannot wait to do this again! I don't know how long it will before I will be able to though. Maybe I can work as a doula when we go to NH. It's lots of waiting and jumping, but at the end of the day it's all worth it.

Placentas are not as disgusting as I thought they were. They are actually almost iridescent on one side. The other side looks like a brain. You can even see the sac where the baby was. I am more disgusted by the idea of handling meat than I am handling the placenta. At least I know where the placenta has been. I was worried that I would get queasy and throw up. All the blood didn't seem to phase me. Now, I don't think I can bring myself to eating it like some moms do. Perhaps putting it in a pill form and everything will be OK. How do you freeze dry a placenta?

Happy anniversary Fred

Four years ago today, Fred and I were married by the beach in Kauai. It was at noon and the sun was reflecting off the sand. I of course wanted to do it barefoot; my feet were burning. My dad walked me to the Hei'au, where Fred was waiting for me. A Hei'au is where the Polynesians worship. I married my best friend at Kukui Hei'au. As a symbol and reminder of our wedding, we keep Kukui nuts in our car.

It was a very simple ceremony. We exchanged leis, rings and drank water from a coconut. We wrote our vows.
Fred's vows to me
My Dearest Cynthia,
Today you and I are in paradise. Not just because of where we are, but because we are together. Today we will join together in a sacred bond. Two souls intertwined as one. Since the moment I met you, you have brightened my life like the sun above us. You have opened my eyes to a whole new world. Not a day goes by that you don't make me feel special. Today I am truly the luckiest man alive. You are my Eternal Soul-mate, the link that completes my chine, my Other Half, my Cuddlemonkey. You are my perfect fit, mind body and soul. You are my angel and when you spread your wings I want to fly with you on a little trip to Heaven on the wings of your love. Today I make an important promise to you. I promise to give you my eternal love. I promise to protect you when you are scared, to hold you when you are sad, and to cheer you up when you are mad. I promise to be there by your side, holding your hand through the good and bad, wherever life may take us. Our lives together and our loves will last forever. Long after the stars have faded away, our love will there burning strong. I will love you for eternity and beyond and I ask you today, to take me as your husband.

My vows to Fred
Fred,
I called you many names: Baby, Cuddlemonkey, Mio Tesero, Soul-mate.
Today I can call you husband.
You are my past, present and future.
You have a piece of my soul.
You are the angel I have been looking for, coloring my life
You're the love I have always wanted, embracing my heart.
Let's always dive together, hand in hand.
Our love will be the light to lead the way.
Our souls will be the paint to illustrate our never ending story.
I promise to share your sorrow and happiness.
I promise not to take you for granted.
I promise to fill your life with mine.
I love you today. I'll love you forever.
I'll love you until eternity.
And if eternity comes, I promise my soul will find yours and love you once more

The Waiting Game

I get my first taste of what it's like to be a midwife. A client is due any day now. I am very excited! The anticipation is killing me. I have never been a patient person. I'm a little anxious, I must admit. I hope I have the stomach for it. I am very lucky to be able to be a part of her birth. If you believe in fate, then you could say it was meant to be. The midwife I am working with will be leaving soon. I was suppose to meet the client in August. The midwife found out that she was moving end of July. I was so excited about starting to go to prenatal appointments that I met the mom in June. I wonder what would have happened if I would have waited until August. Would the midwife think it was worth it?

The mom is great. She is very in tune with her body. S says that she is a great client for a first time apprentice. It is so cool to do the things that were done at my prenatals, but on the other side.

I just hope that I will be able to find someone as cool to work with as S. My plan is to go to nursing school and become a nurse midwife who does homebirths. If I decide not to home school, I hope that I can work in Desmina's school as a nurse. I will do midwifery on the side. Or I may just abandon the thought of nursing school altogether if I can find a cool midwife school in NH. It all depends how long we stay there.

Good News!

Desmina's tests came back yesterday. Everything is normal. Well except for her urine test. They saw bacteria, which may indicate that she has a UTI. But they think it's because we did not have a sterile environment when we collected it. They think the bag was not sterile. Also her cretin level was high. She was very stressed and would only nurse. I know my supply has plummeted this month. I am going to give her acidiphilous and cranberry pills this week. Then I'll collect the urine sample. I hope they will be patient.

Desi's Day

Yesterday we went to the doctor to run the tests. We really liked the doctor. She is a vegetarian and was supportive of our vegan diet. She did not say anything about us and vaxing. She was delighted that I was still breastfeeding.

Poor Desmina though. She must had a feeling that things were going to go wrong. Because as soon as she saw the nurse she started crying. She had to endure so much yesterday. She had to be pricked four times so that they could get some blood. They stuck a bag on her vagina to catch some urine. With the little blood they got, they will run a test for thyroid, liver, CBC and if they have some left over other small tests. I hope they have enough blood. They also took an x-ray, which she hated. They took a stool sample, which she graciously gave to them. I will return the urine sample today. She did not go the whole time we were in the office. I think she was too stressed. We hope to find the results out on Friday.

Should I Stay or Should I Go?

Fred got offered a position in New Hampshire. He will be making more money, but cost of living is almost thirty percent higher there than here. It is a wonderful job opportunity for him, but he is worried that he be stuck at this position. I am
hesitant to leave my whole support system behind. We already found our niche here, but I have always dreamed of leaving Texas behind. I was hoping it would be a move to the Pacific Northwest, not New England.
Fred kids that we should determine whether or not we moved based on if I'm pregnant or not. I find out either tomorrow or Tuesday. I already know who I would use as a midwife here. I hope that finding a midwife in NH would be as easy. I need a midwife that will do HBACs. I am hoping that I am pregnant, but I do not want that to be the deciding factor.
I am also concerned about finding an AP friendly doctor. Although, I did check out the Mothering Forums and it seems as though there are good doctors. I do not know how far I will be willing to drive for a checkup.
Fred will discuss more with his boss tomorrow. I do hope that we come to a decision soon.

All in a day's work

and not quite done yet.
Tomorrow is Desmina's birthday party. I have been preparing all morning and afternoon. I am still not quite done yet. I am very excited about it all. It is going to be an art party. We will have a painting station, an etching station and a marble art station. I may add a marker station to the mix. What's on the menu? Raw carrot cake, vegan chocolate raspberry cake, raw ravioli, tofu sandwiches, veggies and some type of raw nut dip. I just finished making the carrot cake and baking the chocolate cake. After Desmina wakes up from her nap I'll prepare the ravioli and dip. Fred will make the tofu sandwiches. I'll post pictures of all the yummy food and festivities tomorrow.

To worry

or not?
Desmina had her 2 year appointment yesterday. The doctor was concerned because she is falling off her curve on height. He thinks that it is time that we take her to see an actual pediatrician. I am on the hunt for a doctor that will not pass judgment on my vax free nursling. I am keeping a food log for what Desmina eats during the day. I gave him her food log from last week and he thought that she was getting a balanced diet. It's not like she isn't eating. This is what she had today.
Breakfast
2 waffles
2 strawberries
Snack
cheerios
Lunch
Rice
Beans
Guacamole
Snack
6 strawberries
Cyn handful of crackers
hummus
guacamole
cantaloupe
Dinner
1/2 taco
Rice
beans
Guacamole

She woke up at 9 this morning, had breakfast and we ate lunch at 12. We went home, she napped at 1 and woke up at around 3 or 4. We had a very late dinner, but she snacked the whole entire time. She did not eat much of her dinner. Like maybe a couple of bites of her rice and beans. But she snacked from the time she woke up until it was time for dinner. I was actually surprised that she could fit more in her stomach.

Anyways, we are going to test her for malaborption first. And then perhaps we may have to take her to go see a specialist. I would feel so guilty if it was something that I didn't catch in the beginning. Honestly, I was going to see a different doctor to see if they would test for malabsoprtion because Dr. B does not. But because he confirmed that he thought she needed it as well, makes it seem more dire.

Happy Birthday Desmina

Where has the time gone? I can't believe that you are already two years old! Happy Birthday, Sweet Girl! Or as you have been saying it, "Happy Up Up." I love you!

Sex Quiz

You have a sexual IQ of 141 When it comes to sex, you are a super genius. You have had a lot of experience, and sex interests you so you know a lot about it. You pride yourself on being a source of information and guidance to all of your friends. Take this quiz at QuizUniverse.com

Sexually Frustrated

Lately, it seems the best actions I get are in my dreams. I have been having wild crazy sex dreams lately. Last night I dreamt that I was having sex with a professor to make an A. In my dream, it was actually Fred, I think. But the doctor was totally rubbing on me and I was getting so turned on. I don't even think I even got to O in my dream.
I also dreamt of an old friend of mine. I don't remember much about it. But we were in a game show together. We won a trip to Mexico. I am sure the Mexico part came because my BIL was on Wheel of Fortune and he won a trip to Mexico. Anyways, we won a trip and lots of money. I told him to get in the car. But in the dream it seemed so surreal. We were driving away and I just knew he was going to fade away. I told him my fear, and he told me that it wasn't him fading, but me. I had a life of my own with Fred and Desmina. I rememeber as he was saying this, I could see the images of a soda bottle fading in and out. In my dream I wanted a life with him or just one crazy night of wild sex.
I have no idea why I had this dream. My friend and I made out once, but nothing came from it. I didn't go home with him that night. I guess I wonder how he would have been like in the sack.
It's just frustrating. Fred and I are having sex. I just don't get to O. I think it's been seven or eight times. I am sure this is what is causing my dreams.