Black cloud

Virginia must have bad luck lurking about. We stopped for gas today. They only offer prepay. They don't even have a slot to put your card in. Ivy goes inside to tell the lady we are going to pay with credit and if she could turn it on. I have to bring in my credit cart. There is no way in hell I'm going to trust her to hold on to my card without me being there. I go inside. The lady takes one look at me, and walks to the other room to smoke. No greeting. No one moment please. She then comes back and walks past me to go outside, walks back in and ignores me! She then tells me that she doesn't have a changing table for Desmina. Um, Okay. That is not why I came in but anyways with that attitude I am not giving you my money.

I radio Fred and he tell him that I need to go to a different gas station. He tells me to come over where he is and of course when I drive over there I miss it and get on the interstate instead. They tell me to take the first exit I see. I end up getting back on after that exit because it goes on forever and I can't find the gas stations. I stop and wait on the shoulder and wait for my dad and Fred to radio me. They do but they are not listening. They just go right ahead and take the exit. I am yelling in the radio for them not to. And they tell me to stop on the shoulder. I am already in the damn shoulder but on 80! Finally they realize that I am not at the exit and go back to 80 while cars and trucks are flying past me.

We finally get gas. My dad now wants to drive my car because he doesn't think that I'm competent enough so I ride with Fred. We follow the directions given to us yahoo to get to the hotel. It's a long drive after we exit to get to Highway 55. I am thinking, "What kind of hotel is this place? It must be a dump." Our destination ends at a gravel road. No hotel. Fred calls the place and the directions are wrong. No shit Sherlock! He isn't able to understand the woman's direction. He is too frazzled and just wants to concentrate backing up. We tell my dad to back up first and we'll follow. Of course he doesn't listen so we have to turn the huge van instead of backing up. I call the hotel back and get the right directions. We finally find the hotel and of course miss the entrance. We are here now though. Tomorrow we leave to our new house!!!!

I have been feeling what I thought was light baby flutters. Last night I felt Blanket kick! I was on the computer, chatting with Adrianna. It was a series of short kicks. I am so excited! I have this constant worry that there is something wrong. I didn't worry as much with the first one as I do this one.

I was so excited with the first one. I took belly pictures every few weeks. Right now I only have one picture of me at seven weeks. I keep meaning to take another picture, but we have been so busy! I started a journal as soon as I found out I was pregnant last time. This time I don't even have a journal yet. I don't know if it's because I don't feel as attached or because I always have that worry setting in. I am in my second trimester though so I can breathe a sigh of relief. I guess I will feel better if I can hear the heartbeat again.

Toddler Magic

Only a toddler can manage to open the bottom of the salt container and have it all gushing out. I didn't even know that you could pop out the bottom of it. What was the company thinking? Why would I want the salt to come out of the bottom when there is a perfect spout on the top to pour? And of course my toddler decided to get a shovel to play in it.

Stow Away

"Do you think they will notice if I climb into the bag?"

Unmotivated

I am unmotivated to do anything today. I haven't even brushed my teeth yet. Well so far it's just Desi and Wasabi to smell my breath. Playgroup is coming so I need to get up and do something at least. I just wanted to post real quick. How sad is that? Computer time comes before hygiene. What am I teaching Desi?

I also need to finish packing. I should start by the shit on the table. Lots of breakables for little hands to break. We had a moving sale. Only three people came. Well at least we made money to cover the ad and then some. The left over items were given away at the potluck. Well at least that is less stuff to haul away to Goodwill.

Ten more minutes before playgroup starts...better get off my ass.

Been a while

So I'll post a picture.

Trick or Treat

Here are pictures from last night. We trick or treat for UNICEF since we still don't allow her pure sugar. She collected $11.66 from the neighbors yesterday and her Oma donated $10. We have a change bucket that we will probably just donate it to her. I think she did very well. She did get some candy. The nonvegan ones we handed it back out to the kids. We kept some vegan candy for ourselves. Are we hypocritical our what? Fred says that Mina would say thank you for money but not for the candy. He says she is money hungry. I think it's because he was holding the bag and she was holding the collection box.

She made one cute unicorn. She was saying "Trick or treat" all day yesterday. When we got to the houses, she didn't even say it. She did try to go into everyone's houses.

This is Halloween

For some reason I have to upload the pictures to Photobucket and then I have to use the HTML codes just to show pictures.

Anyways. These are the pumpkins we carved Sunday night. We made pumpkin seeds. Mina totally digs them. She painted her own pumpkin. We had purple handprints everywhere. There is still evidence on the stove because I'm too lazy to clean it off. I kind of like having it there actually. I just love her little hands. Her pumpkin took forever it to dry. It was glistening with paint.

Time with Julianna

We headed to Eugene Thursday morning. We hit the shops and then went to eat lunch. This place makes their own vegan burgers. I wasn't too impressed. It was a bit dry. Mina had tofu and rice. It was a bit bland, but it's nice they had the option.

Then we headed to see Julianna. It was a short drive. When we got there we knocked on the door. I think it was Michael on the other end who responded by saying, "knock knock." I knocked again, but still no response. Fred had to knock on the door so that Julianna could hear us. I have a quiet knock. LOL. It was cute hearing Michael.
Julianna's house is so warm! I love the hardwood floors and the windows. In the entrance, they have a mural of sunflowers. The boys were still in school so it was just Jonathon and Michael.


We chatted for a bit and then headed to the post office. Fred stayed at the house. Mina was going to stay with him, but she got upset. Julianna showed me her new house to be. It's gorgeous! It's a big project, but I know it's going to be worth it. I love the house!

Afterwards we went back to the house. Chatted, washed diapers, ate dinner, watched TV...just chilled. It was so nice to see the family get together. Mina got grumpy so we retired to the van. I think she had to nurse to sleep. She woke up several times.

Next day, we hung out some more. Julianna got the pattern from the growing green diaper. She gave me one too. I will try my hand at making a diaper. I just need to get some material. The kids colored some. Time went by fast! Julianna had to get to the house by noon so Fred and I went to the co-op. We then met her at the house. Fred loved the house too. Poor Mina fell in the driveway. She skinned her knee a bit. We then left for Portland.

Portland isn't as nice as the rest of Oregon. It's too big. We didn't get to find much. We wanted to find a cloth diaper store, but wasn't able to until the next day. It wasn't open then. We went out to eat at Blossoming Lotus. It's the sister store to the place we went to in Hawaii. The service wasn't as friendly. The server was a bit of a snob it seemed.. It was just a hoity toity place. Food was good though. We had a sunflower pate, hummus and some salad that came with it. I had the raw pasta and Fred had the BBQ tempehi. Mina had some temeph and rice.

Next day, we looked for the Saturday Market. Unfortunately, Fred had the wrong address so we weren't able to make it. We did find a good breakfast place though. The server there was really nice. She is from Arlington, Texas. She even gave us a discount at the end! I had their vegan pancakes and potatoes. Mina had potatoes and guac, and Fred had gravy and biscuits. Mina and I shared carrot juice....and she had some OJ. It was nice to get fresh juice while on the road.
Afterwards we headed to the natural baby store, but it was closed so we went to the airport. No problems at the airport. It's so much nicer than DFW though.

Coasting

After visiting Mount Saint Helens we drove along the coast. We stopped in Astoria for the night. Astoria is a very cute city. We stopped to see the Goonies House and where they filmed Kindergarten Cop. We climbed the 164 steps to the tower and looked at the view. It was a nice climb.

Next day we headed south to Tilamook. On the way, we stopped at a beach to look at the rock formations. It was so hard to keep Desmina from running into the water. She is drawn to the water. When we got in Tilamook, we stopped in for coffee. Mina had her first taste of soy steamer. She really enjoyed it. She gulped it right down. The woman working behind the counter suggested we go see a waterfall. It's the tallest waterfall in Oregon. It was only a quarter mile hike to get to the fall. It was beautiful.

Then we headed down to Salem to go see the Sea Lions Caverns. We stopped in Lincoln City to see the Devil's Punch Bowl. The tide was too low so it wasn't too impressive. Mina met a dog that loved her. Afterwards we tried to go see the tide pools but they said that the tide was too high for that. We couldn't go see the lighthouse because they wouldn't let us carry Mina to the top. She had to be 42 inches to be able to climb the steps. We just went to the Sea Lions Caverns instead. I wanted to stop so many times from Astoria to Salem, but Fred made a good point saying that if we kept stopping we would never get there. All of Oregon is beautiful.

Sea Lions Caves were fun. They took us down in an elevator town into the caverns where the sea lions come in. It was a bit eerie because it was so dark, but once I saw the sea lions I was okay. There was a few vegging on the rock. You could see them come into the cave. I paid a quarter to look into the telescope. It was so cute to see them up close. You could see them talking to each other. When we left the cavern, we could see the sea lions jumping in and out of the water. I like how uninvasive the tourist attraction was.

We stayed in Salem for the night and headed to Eugene the next day.

Headed North

After we left Grechen's place on Sunday, we headed north to meet Fred's boss and his family. They live in Bellvile, Wa. His boss was totally someone I was not expecting. He had a lot more hair! They are a natural living family. They cloth diaper and home birth. I was so stoked to find that out.

He took us out to a Mandarin restaurant. It was very yummy. I had this pickle salad and a curry soup with rice noodles. Fred had some type of tofu dish.

Afterwards we headed north more. We were planning on going to Canada, but found out that we couldn't leave the area. We stayed the night just south of Bellingham. Next day we headed out and spent the day there. We did a small hike to see a waterfall, that wasn't really a waterfall. We went to the river to see if we can see the salmon jumping, but they didn't. We played at a park with Mina. It is a beautiful city.
Washington State overall is beautiful. Fred and I just love all the leaves. We don't get to see leaves like that in the south. They just turn brown and fall off there.

We ended the day by heading down south to pick up my glasses at Grechen's. Avery was asleep so Mina didn't get to play with her. She played outside a bit with Maya though. Then we headed down towards Mount Saint Helens to stay for the night.

Mina meets Eve-re and Mikemo

When we arrived in Portland, I got Julianna's message that she would not be meeting us at the airport. We decided to stay in Portland and hang out. We grabbed some Taco Bell because we were starving since we had no time for breakfast. We left for Washington around two. We were going to meet Grechen and crew to try to make it to the Children's Theatre.

The drive to Tacoma was a long one. Mina was irritable. She is cutting four teeth. How come every time we are on the road she is teething? By the time we got to Grechen's place she was ready to get out! She was not shy at all. She totally destroyed Avery's room. Avery and Maya were at play with their dad but arrived later.

Grechen made a delicious soup. It was sooooo good! Desmina totally chowed. She had two bowls and then swiped Avery's and Maya's since they didn't want theirs. Afterwards we all hung out. Avery is so smart! It's just amazing what the girl can say. Grechen was sharing some stories that was just shocking. She knows her planets, the concept of what the universe is. I have been around toddlers who speak well for their age, but never around someone so amazing. I can't quite put my finger on it, but there is something different about Avery. She is very intelligent. Maya is just as amazing. She just draws people to her. You want to be around her. It's not just charisma, which she has. It's something magical it seems. Maya and Avery are definitely Crystal children.

We did not get to see Julianna until the next day. Grechen and the girls left early with Austin to head out to her dad's. We stayed and took showers. Michael is such a sweet boy! Desmina was having trouble with her banana and he told her he would open it for he. It was just so cute watching him peel a banana and then hand it over to her. He is a smart boy too and very verbal. Desmina's vocabulary is actually picking up from the trip. I think she feels the pressure from Avery and Michael.

We met Grechen at Mighty 0's where we met last year. It's a vegan doughnut shop. I had a chocolate covered doughnut and a glazed doughnut. It was good, but way too sweet. Afterwards, we headed to the park. Mina napped while the kids played. She was in great need of one.

We had lunch at the Pita Pit. It was not very good, but it was what we needed. We went back to Tacoma. Fred made us all chili. After dinner we all chatted a bit and then went to bed. Grechen told us something that made me cry about Avery. She asked Avery what it was like in her womb. Avery told her she was swimming like a dolphin. I was just blown away! I wonder if Desmina will be able to remember when she is able to tell us.

Next day we hung out and then had brunch at Quickies. The food was a bit pricey, but I really loved the pancakes and French toast. We headed back to their place to pack up the car and head up to Seattle and meet Fred's boss.

Ever since, Mina has been asking for Eve-re and Mikemo. She talks about Lily too. While we were staying with them she would wake up early in the morning calling their names. It's so cute. She has new names to add to her friend inventory. Sometimes Desmina will name people she knows. We call it her friend inventory list. It's just so cute.

In the nick of time

Friday morning Desmina woke up crying. Thank goodness! We had half an hour to get ready to head off to the airport. We hustled and of course there was traffic on the way to Fred's sister, who was taking us to the airport. Fortunately she only lives ten minutes from there.

When we arrived at the airport we had about forty minutes to get our bags checked and go to security. The rule at the airport is that you have to check in forty three minutes before your flight. We barely made it! So far so good, but then there was the menacing security line. And just our luck, all but two of the checkpoint lines were closed. We were not moving an inch! I kept checking the time and holding my breath. At first I was laid back, but as it got closer to the time with our flight leaving I became more agitated. Finally they opened the rest of the lines and the line started moving faster. I had to chuck my unopened Dr. Pepper. When we passed through security we had just enough time to run to the gate. They were already looking for us. It was nice not to have to wait at the airport or on the plane for take off. But I don't think the rush and stress is worth it.

Saint Helens

When Desmina was a newborn and would have her explosive poops, we would say she Mount St. Helened in her pants. We visited Mount Saint Helens yesterday. The drive up was beautiful despite the fog. The fog actually made the view spectacular. Mountains were hidden among the fog and you can see it when the fog would lift. At one point it was so foggy, I suggested we stop because it was so hard to see. Fred said we could go on a little longer. A few seconds later the fog seemed to part and the sun was dazzling! We could finally see Mt St. Helens in the background. It was far, but we could see the smoke coming up.

We visited the two visitor centers to learn more about Saint Helens. We were only able to see the top of the crater because the rest of it was covered in clouds. It was still worth the drive. I do wish we could have seen the whole volcano. Some day...

Pictures to come!

Dreaming

I am pregnant with my ex's baby. He is a deadbeat and I am talking to his ex. He isn't taking care of her or their children. My ex promises to marry me and take care of the baby and Desmina over the phone. For some reason I believe him, but don't want to hurt his ex's feelings. So I pretend not to.

I am in a high secure area. They are guards at every entrance and exit. I am what is being protected. I am walking around holding Desmina's hand. I feel that we are being watched, but think it's just my paranoia. All of a sudden there is an alarm. Someone has snuck in. I have to hide! There is a woman chasing me. She looks like Michelle R from Lost. She is shouting making people think that it is me who broke into the area. The fastest way to escape for me is to jump over the banister and hope I don't get hurt. Desmina is still with me. She is being quiet now, but what if she starts babbling? Am I able to jump with her? I am able to rewind time and find Fred. I thrust Desmina into his arms and run. Then jump over the banister. The woman chasing me doesn't want to jump so she takes the long way down. I am able to hide in a broom closet. Desmina is on my mind. Did I really give her to Fred or did I dream that? Everything fades away and I wake up.

We have hope in our future

Our neighbor is a broker. We decided to finally talk to him, before we moved to set up accounts. After speaking with him, we are confident that we can set up several funds for our family. We decided to have a fund for life insurance, a retirement fund, and a college fund for Mina.
He was telling us that he tells his clients to have 3 "buckets:" a now bucket, later bucket and a never bucket. The now bucket you should try to set up money in account that equals up to 3 times your pay. I don't think we can do this, unless we sell our house with a profit. So we hope to use the money we get from that if we get a profit. The later means anything in the future: car, house, children's wedding...etc. The never bucket is your retirement and life insurance. He says that we can do it if we set aside 10% of our income every month. We live paycheck to paycheck now, but I think that we can make it work. We just have to budget better. Fred got a raise a few months ago and we just made increased our cost of living. So Fred and i agreed to automatically take the 10% out of his paycheck and move it. This way we have to live like that. Broker said that with the 10% you can retire with a good lump of money

Beautiful. Simply Beautiful

Last night, a few minutes before minute I shared with a family the birthing of their daughter. It was amazing! The mom was in the tub the whole time. When it came time to push, she knew exactly what to do. All of a sudden a gush of brown (ore green) came out. Her water broke. A few moments later, you could see the head emerging. Baby didn't cry at all. The mom made laboring and birthing so easy. Sure, she made some groans and yelled a little. With Desmina I yelled, I cursed, I cried. She gave me hope that I can do it as well. She had a very short labor, but intense labor. She worked very hard.
I cannot wait to do this again! I don't know how long it will before I will be able to though. Maybe I can work as a doula when we go to NH. It's lots of waiting and jumping, but at the end of the day it's all worth it.

Placentas are not as disgusting as I thought they were. They are actually almost iridescent on one side. The other side looks like a brain. You can even see the sac where the baby was. I am more disgusted by the idea of handling meat than I am handling the placenta. At least I know where the placenta has been. I was worried that I would get queasy and throw up. All the blood didn't seem to phase me. Now, I don't think I can bring myself to eating it like some moms do. Perhaps putting it in a pill form and everything will be OK. How do you freeze dry a placenta?

Happy anniversary Fred

Four years ago today, Fred and I were married by the beach in Kauai. It was at noon and the sun was reflecting off the sand. I of course wanted to do it barefoot; my feet were burning. My dad walked me to the Hei'au, where Fred was waiting for me. A Hei'au is where the Polynesians worship. I married my best friend at Kukui Hei'au. As a symbol and reminder of our wedding, we keep Kukui nuts in our car.

It was a very simple ceremony. We exchanged leis, rings and drank water from a coconut. We wrote our vows.
Fred's vows to me
My Dearest Cynthia,
Today you and I are in paradise. Not just because of where we are, but because we are together. Today we will join together in a sacred bond. Two souls intertwined as one. Since the moment I met you, you have brightened my life like the sun above us. You have opened my eyes to a whole new world. Not a day goes by that you don't make me feel special. Today I am truly the luckiest man alive. You are my Eternal Soul-mate, the link that completes my chine, my Other Half, my Cuddlemonkey. You are my perfect fit, mind body and soul. You are my angel and when you spread your wings I want to fly with you on a little trip to Heaven on the wings of your love. Today I make an important promise to you. I promise to give you my eternal love. I promise to protect you when you are scared, to hold you when you are sad, and to cheer you up when you are mad. I promise to be there by your side, holding your hand through the good and bad, wherever life may take us. Our lives together and our loves will last forever. Long after the stars have faded away, our love will there burning strong. I will love you for eternity and beyond and I ask you today, to take me as your husband.

My vows to Fred
Fred,
I called you many names: Baby, Cuddlemonkey, Mio Tesero, Soul-mate.
Today I can call you husband.
You are my past, present and future.
You have a piece of my soul.
You are the angel I have been looking for, coloring my life
You're the love I have always wanted, embracing my heart.
Let's always dive together, hand in hand.
Our love will be the light to lead the way.
Our souls will be the paint to illustrate our never ending story.
I promise to share your sorrow and happiness.
I promise not to take you for granted.
I promise to fill your life with mine.
I love you today. I'll love you forever.
I'll love you until eternity.
And if eternity comes, I promise my soul will find yours and love you once more

The Waiting Game

I get my first taste of what it's like to be a midwife. A client is due any day now. I am very excited! The anticipation is killing me. I have never been a patient person. I'm a little anxious, I must admit. I hope I have the stomach for it. I am very lucky to be able to be a part of her birth. If you believe in fate, then you could say it was meant to be. The midwife I am working with will be leaving soon. I was suppose to meet the client in August. The midwife found out that she was moving end of July. I was so excited about starting to go to prenatal appointments that I met the mom in June. I wonder what would have happened if I would have waited until August. Would the midwife think it was worth it?

The mom is great. She is very in tune with her body. S says that she is a great client for a first time apprentice. It is so cool to do the things that were done at my prenatals, but on the other side.

I just hope that I will be able to find someone as cool to work with as S. My plan is to go to nursing school and become a nurse midwife who does homebirths. If I decide not to home school, I hope that I can work in Desmina's school as a nurse. I will do midwifery on the side. Or I may just abandon the thought of nursing school altogether if I can find a cool midwife school in NH. It all depends how long we stay there.

Good News!

Desmina's tests came back yesterday. Everything is normal. Well except for her urine test. They saw bacteria, which may indicate that she has a UTI. But they think it's because we did not have a sterile environment when we collected it. They think the bag was not sterile. Also her cretin level was high. She was very stressed and would only nurse. I know my supply has plummeted this month. I am going to give her acidiphilous and cranberry pills this week. Then I'll collect the urine sample. I hope they will be patient.