Newborn pics:
Slinging
Sleeping
Bundled
Awake
Milk drunk
03 June 2007
31 May 2007
Joys of being a mother
or a leaking machine.
After a rough night, I think I could sleep in since M didn't fall asleep until 5:30. Yes, 5:30. Well Fred tried to ride his bike to work and didn't check the weather. It's raining. He locked himself out. So he bangs at the door waking up me and M. No rest for the wicked.
I can do nothing but cry. I am nursing B on one side, leaking on the other side and still bleeding down there. I am just oozing out every orifice it seems.
After a rough night, I think I could sleep in since M didn't fall asleep until 5:30. Yes, 5:30. Well Fred tried to ride his bike to work and didn't check the weather. It's raining. He locked himself out. So he bangs at the door waking up me and M. No rest for the wicked.
I can do nothing but cry. I am nursing B on one side, leaking on the other side and still bleeding down there. I am just oozing out every orifice it seems.
Love is
getting a package in the mail.
I have always loved getting mail. It's the mystery of what is in the envelope. With modern technology, mail isn't the same anymore. The fun of getting mail is opening the envelope. Breaking the seal very carefully and revealing the contents.
Mail is even more special when the sender takes the time do decorate the envelope.
So what's in the package?
Let's open the envelope very carefully...
A letter from Grechen and...
a sweater for B made from organic yarn!
See the eyelet? It's suppose to bring him luck and give him protection.
Thanks Grechen and Happy Love Thursday!
I have always loved getting mail. It's the mystery of what is in the envelope. With modern technology, mail isn't the same anymore. The fun of getting mail is opening the envelope. Breaking the seal very carefully and revealing the contents.
Mail is even more special when the sender takes the time do decorate the envelope.
So what's in the package?
Let's open the envelope very carefully...
A letter from Grechen and...
a sweater for B made from organic yarn!
See the eyelet? It's suppose to bring him luck and give him protection.
Thanks Grechen and Happy Love Thursday!
30 May 2007
Accomplishment
I got out of the house with two kids! So what if her face wasn't clean? Or that her wasn't brush. She had a clean outfit on her, despite the fact that the pants were falling off her. I even remembered the diaper bag. A lot good it did me, after I noticed that she peed after we leave Walgreens. Thank goodness that was our last stop. Thank goodness she waited until we were on the way home to throw her shoes on the floorboard and cry about it. I am just proud that I actually made it out of the house and back with both kids intact.
27 May 2007
Are your base belong to us
Fred made one for M too, except she has this saying on the back:
Yes, we are huge dorks.
25 May 2007
Blissful sleep
Time for me to take a nap! I'll just ignore the toys on the floor, the yogurt smeared on the table, the trashed kitchen, the clothes on the floor, the...
24 May 2007
Love is
having a good birth team on your side to welcome new life.
I had an awesome birth team, which included Jeanne Browne, Trille and Kerri, my doula and of course Fred. Today was my two week visit. This is Jeanne. M totally adores her. I totally adore her. I do not want to imagine what my birth would had been without her. She totally rocks!!!!
S'ang is now 6 pounds 3 oz. He went down to 5 pounds 10 oz. He rolled over today! I don't know if it was a fluke or what. We were outside and he was in the portable crib. He started crying. It takes me forever to stand up now; by the time I got to him he went from stomach to back. I have to put him on his tummy again and see if he does it.
Happy Love Thursday!
I had an awesome birth team, which included Jeanne Browne, Trille and Kerri, my doula and of course Fred. Today was my two week visit. This is Jeanne. M totally adores her. I totally adore her. I do not want to imagine what my birth would had been without her. She totally rocks!!!!
S'ang is now 6 pounds 3 oz. He went down to 5 pounds 10 oz. He rolled over today! I don't know if it was a fluke or what. We were outside and he was in the portable crib. He started crying. It takes me forever to stand up now; by the time I got to him he went from stomach to back. I have to put him on his tummy again and see if he does it.
Happy Love Thursday!
23 May 2007
Desmina and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good Very Bad Day
Morning started off well. She did a Picasso of Santa. *pic to come* We played in the pool with the girls.
It was after nap that she had a hard time. She woke up crying. We went outside to play. I bought up old baby toys from the cellar. She shared with the girls for a bit, but all of a sudden she started crying. It was time to put away the toys. She had enough sharing. She insisted on putting all the toys away by herself and didn't want help from anyone. She wanted the toys upstairs NOW! She was worried that Nana was going to steal her brother's shirt. Then while climbing the stairs, she fell. My heart stopped. I couldn't pick her up because I still can't squat without it feeling as though my stitches are coming apart. I just yelled for Fred to come and get her. He was there in a flash. Then after we came in she wanted me to take off her shoes. Fred tried, but that resulted in more crying. I had to put her shoes back on and off again.
She asked to go to bed early tonight. My poor girl. I hope tomorrow is a better day.
It was after nap that she had a hard time. She woke up crying. We went outside to play. I bought up old baby toys from the cellar. She shared with the girls for a bit, but all of a sudden she started crying. It was time to put away the toys. She had enough sharing. She insisted on putting all the toys away by herself and didn't want help from anyone. She wanted the toys upstairs NOW! She was worried that Nana was going to steal her brother's shirt. Then while climbing the stairs, she fell. My heart stopped. I couldn't pick her up because I still can't squat without it feeling as though my stitches are coming apart. I just yelled for Fred to come and get her. He was there in a flash. Then after we came in she wanted me to take off her shoes. Fred tried, but that resulted in more crying. I had to put her shoes back on and off again.
She asked to go to bed early tonight. My poor girl. I hope tomorrow is a better day.
22 May 2007
20 May 2007
That's sibling love
M woke up from her nap grumpy. She cried and screamed. Daddy couldn't get her to calm down. Mommy couldn't get her to calm down. She stopped crying when B gave her kisses on her knees. It became a game, where could baby brother kiss her? Tears turned into giggles. Only eight days old and he already can make his sister smile.
19 May 2007
My S'ang
My S'ang came into the world on our bedroom floor at the foot of our bed at 1:30 in the morning on May 12.
I have been having contractions for almost a week, but I consider labour to officially begin when I lost my mucous plug on Friday morning at five. The night before we had an appointment with Jeanne, our midwife and went to eat Indian food. I had Baigan Baratha (spl) to help encourage labour. On the way home, I remember the contractions being more intense. We went to bed around midnight to ensure that we would be well rested just in case labour would begin. Sure enough it did.
I woke up several times that night because of my contractions. I got up to use the restroom and saw that I a bit of plug. I was very excited, but I knew I had to go back to bed. I tried to lay down in the bedroom, but couldn't. So I moved into the other bedroom. The sound of the rain kept me from sleeping, except at the time I was thinking who the hell was mowing their lawn at five in the morning. I went to the window and saw it was the rain on the tin roof, so I moved to the living room. I was able to sleep maybe an hour on the couch and then moved to our bedroom.
We got out of bed at around 7:30, after Desi woke up. I called Kerry, our doula and then Jeannie to let them know I was in early labour. Then I set an appointment with our chiropractor so that I could get my body aligned for birthing. After the chiropractor, we went to the store for groceries. I had to stop every once in a while in the aisles to relax. After we got home, I went to tell our neighbor that she was officially on call for Desi. I stayed down and we took the girls out while Fred went to get me dolma. We went to the swings. During contractions I used the hang bar to sway and squat, which I found to relieve them. The girls were getting restless, so we went back inside. Fred still wasn't back yet. While I was waiting, I crawled on my hands and knees while the girls followed me. It was so cute.
When Fred came, I ate some dolma and then we went outside to swing again. This time I found sitting on the swings and swaying helped more. It was getting hot and Desi was hungry so we went in to feed her and then put her down for her nap. At this point my contractions were four minutes apart and a minute long.
I watched Lost (which happened to have a scene where a woman birthed naturally in the woods). I had to hit pause at each contraction because it was so intense. Kerry called just as the show ended and I asked her to go ahead and come. While Fred and I waited, we walked around the house a bit and I would lean on him and we would sway together during contractions. They were sitll coming at the same intervals..
Kerry arrived at around 2:30. We did more walking and swaying, then I moved to the computer chair while Fred would kneel so I could lean on him. I found sitting on the birth ball to much pressure. I ended up on my hands and knees while Kerry did some massage on my lower back. This was when Desi woke up from her nap. I could tell she was a little worried. We reassured her that everything was okay and that baby was coming. We moved to the living room with the chair again. Eventually, it was time to take Desi downstairs. My contractions were still coming at the same intervals, but they were becoming more intense. Kerry took her downstairs while I laboured on Fred.
I was beginning to get more irritable. I wanted to know where the midwives were. I had Fred call them. I wanted to get in the water, and Jeanne had said I couldn't get in the water until I was 6 cm. They said they were on the way still. Eventually I couldn't hold out anymore. We filled the tub in the bathroom and I just pretty much dived in at the same time they came. I told them that I couldn't wait. *Later, Anna tells me that when the midwives came, Desi said "Holy crap my midwives are here," and insisted on coming upstairs.* They said it was okay. They checked the baby's heart rate which was a steady 140. Then I asked to check dialtion. I was at an 8!!!! That was the best thing I heard. At each contraction I sunk into the water. Then I thought it was time to push. Looking back, I pushed to early. Nothing was happening, so Jeannie suggested me moving to the birthing stool. Nothing still so she thought it was my waters getting in the way. She broke it and I felt some relief. I still wasn't able to push right. We moved in the bedroom where we tried several positions. At one point, my body took over. Now it was really time to push because my body would correct my direction of pushing. It is an amazing feeling. Jeanne helped stretch the last lip and I think this helped.
Everything blurs together at this point. I remember trying to birth on the bed first with me laying down and them holding my legs. Then on the birthing stool. Then with a supported squat. Then on my hands and knees while someone squeezed my hips together. I don't remember the order of these positions. I just remember ending up on the bedroom floor while they held my knees. It took many contractions it seemed to get the baby past my pubic bone. They got the mirror out to encourage me. At first it wasn't helping because I couldn't see anything. But then I saw a head! I could see my body moving the head forward! It was just amazing to feel my body take over my pushing. I would start in back, and then it would move it forward somehow. I remember them feeding me maple syrup, blue cohosh and emergency C between contractions to give me a boost. I remember them checking the baby's heart rate at each contraction too to make sure the baby was tolerating it. It was a steady 140 each time, except a couple of times it went to 168 but it went back to 140. I remember sticking my tongue up almost to mimick where my body should push the baby's head, like a U. I remember thinking, just one more contraction and the baby will be pass my pubic bone. I think this helped me a lot to get to my goal as well. When the head stayed in view, I remember coaxing my baby to come out. "Baby, come out." Fat Bastard was telling me, "Get out of my belly!" as well. Finally the baby's head crowned. It was amazing that my body could still push despite the feeling of being stretched all the way. Jeannie pulled on the baby to guide the head out. I don't remember when it felt good, but when the baby slid out, it was the most wonderful feeling. I kept saying, "Oh my god" over and over again. Then after I heard the baby's cry, I knew I did it. I said, "My baby" and "We did it!" over and over again. I wasn't able to nurse the baby right away because the cord was too short. Fred went downstairs to get Desi to meet Baby Orange. WE wanted Desi to tell us the sex, but she was too sleepy. It was actually Jeanne's idea. I didn't even realize that we didn't know the sex yet. I just knew that we had a baby!!!! Fred announced it. It was a boy. His son. He ran to play, "Here Comes the Sun" Nina Simone's version.
I later found out that I pushed for five hours, and that the baby's head was tilted to the side. I had a third degree tear. This is why it took so long to write my birth story. I can't sit on my bottom for too long.
We did not come up with the name until Sunday morning. His name is Bodhi. Bodhi means awakening or enlightenment. I call him S'ang. It means morning in Vietnamese. It is pronounced with a short a sound. The name came to me while he was still in the womb. I have been drawing the baby as the sun or enveloped in an orange aura for my birth art. Desi has been calling him "Orange Baby" while he was in the womb and his song is "Here Comes the Sun." It seems like the family decided separately that he is our sun, our morning and our awakening So I find the nickname and his name to fit him perfectly.
I have been having contractions for almost a week, but I consider labour to officially begin when I lost my mucous plug on Friday morning at five. The night before we had an appointment with Jeanne, our midwife and went to eat Indian food. I had Baigan Baratha (spl) to help encourage labour. On the way home, I remember the contractions being more intense. We went to bed around midnight to ensure that we would be well rested just in case labour would begin. Sure enough it did.
I woke up several times that night because of my contractions. I got up to use the restroom and saw that I a bit of plug. I was very excited, but I knew I had to go back to bed. I tried to lay down in the bedroom, but couldn't. So I moved into the other bedroom. The sound of the rain kept me from sleeping, except at the time I was thinking who the hell was mowing their lawn at five in the morning. I went to the window and saw it was the rain on the tin roof, so I moved to the living room. I was able to sleep maybe an hour on the couch and then moved to our bedroom.
We got out of bed at around 7:30, after Desi woke up. I called Kerry, our doula and then Jeannie to let them know I was in early labour. Then I set an appointment with our chiropractor so that I could get my body aligned for birthing. After the chiropractor, we went to the store for groceries. I had to stop every once in a while in the aisles to relax. After we got home, I went to tell our neighbor that she was officially on call for Desi. I stayed down and we took the girls out while Fred went to get me dolma. We went to the swings. During contractions I used the hang bar to sway and squat, which I found to relieve them. The girls were getting restless, so we went back inside. Fred still wasn't back yet. While I was waiting, I crawled on my hands and knees while the girls followed me. It was so cute.
When Fred came, I ate some dolma and then we went outside to swing again. This time I found sitting on the swings and swaying helped more. It was getting hot and Desi was hungry so we went in to feed her and then put her down for her nap. At this point my contractions were four minutes apart and a minute long.
I watched Lost (which happened to have a scene where a woman birthed naturally in the woods). I had to hit pause at each contraction because it was so intense. Kerry called just as the show ended and I asked her to go ahead and come. While Fred and I waited, we walked around the house a bit and I would lean on him and we would sway together during contractions. They were sitll coming at the same intervals..
Kerry arrived at around 2:30. We did more walking and swaying, then I moved to the computer chair while Fred would kneel so I could lean on him. I found sitting on the birth ball to much pressure. I ended up on my hands and knees while Kerry did some massage on my lower back. This was when Desi woke up from her nap. I could tell she was a little worried. We reassured her that everything was okay and that baby was coming. We moved to the living room with the chair again. Eventually, it was time to take Desi downstairs. My contractions were still coming at the same intervals, but they were becoming more intense. Kerry took her downstairs while I laboured on Fred.
I was beginning to get more irritable. I wanted to know where the midwives were. I had Fred call them. I wanted to get in the water, and Jeanne had said I couldn't get in the water until I was 6 cm. They said they were on the way still. Eventually I couldn't hold out anymore. We filled the tub in the bathroom and I just pretty much dived in at the same time they came. I told them that I couldn't wait. *Later, Anna tells me that when the midwives came, Desi said "Holy crap my midwives are here," and insisted on coming upstairs.* They said it was okay. They checked the baby's heart rate which was a steady 140. Then I asked to check dialtion. I was at an 8!!!! That was the best thing I heard. At each contraction I sunk into the water. Then I thought it was time to push. Looking back, I pushed to early. Nothing was happening, so Jeannie suggested me moving to the birthing stool. Nothing still so she thought it was my waters getting in the way. She broke it and I felt some relief. I still wasn't able to push right. We moved in the bedroom where we tried several positions. At one point, my body took over. Now it was really time to push because my body would correct my direction of pushing. It is an amazing feeling. Jeanne helped stretch the last lip and I think this helped.
Everything blurs together at this point. I remember trying to birth on the bed first with me laying down and them holding my legs. Then on the birthing stool. Then with a supported squat. Then on my hands and knees while someone squeezed my hips together. I don't remember the order of these positions. I just remember ending up on the bedroom floor while they held my knees. It took many contractions it seemed to get the baby past my pubic bone. They got the mirror out to encourage me. At first it wasn't helping because I couldn't see anything. But then I saw a head! I could see my body moving the head forward! It was just amazing to feel my body take over my pushing. I would start in back, and then it would move it forward somehow. I remember them feeding me maple syrup, blue cohosh and emergency C between contractions to give me a boost. I remember them checking the baby's heart rate at each contraction too to make sure the baby was tolerating it. It was a steady 140 each time, except a couple of times it went to 168 but it went back to 140. I remember sticking my tongue up almost to mimick where my body should push the baby's head, like a U. I remember thinking, just one more contraction and the baby will be pass my pubic bone. I think this helped me a lot to get to my goal as well. When the head stayed in view, I remember coaxing my baby to come out. "Baby, come out." Fat Bastard was telling me, "Get out of my belly!" as well. Finally the baby's head crowned. It was amazing that my body could still push despite the feeling of being stretched all the way. Jeannie pulled on the baby to guide the head out. I don't remember when it felt good, but when the baby slid out, it was the most wonderful feeling. I kept saying, "Oh my god" over and over again. Then after I heard the baby's cry, I knew I did it. I said, "My baby" and "We did it!" over and over again. I wasn't able to nurse the baby right away because the cord was too short. Fred went downstairs to get Desi to meet Baby Orange. WE wanted Desi to tell us the sex, but she was too sleepy. It was actually Jeanne's idea. I didn't even realize that we didn't know the sex yet. I just knew that we had a baby!!!! Fred announced it. It was a boy. His son. He ran to play, "Here Comes the Sun" Nina Simone's version.
I later found out that I pushed for five hours, and that the baby's head was tilted to the side. I had a third degree tear. This is why it took so long to write my birth story. I can't sit on my bottom for too long.
We did not come up with the name until Sunday morning. His name is Bodhi. Bodhi means awakening or enlightenment. I call him S'ang. It means morning in Vietnamese. It is pronounced with a short a sound. The name came to me while he was still in the womb. I have been drawing the baby as the sun or enveloped in an orange aura for my birth art. Desi has been calling him "Orange Baby" while he was in the womb and his song is "Here Comes the Sun." It seems like the family decided separately that he is our sun, our morning and our awakening So I find the nickname and his name to fit him perfectly.
First doctor's visit
B had his first visit on Thursday. He is tipping the scales at 5 lbs 10 oz. A peanut still, but mommy's milk will make him big and strong.
Day at the Museum
Six days shut in a house with a newborn makes for a very stir crazy toddler. Yesterday, I finally felt up to leaving the house. In the spur of the moment we decided to take the kids (I have kids!) to the museum.
Of course the day we choose to go there is a fleet of school buses. It was chaotic, but M lives for chaos.
She is so proud of her bubble.
The spinning top was aweome!!! Daddy do it again!
There is an awesome play area. A perfect place for a mommy to nurse while Daddy plays with big sister.
Let's not forget a picture of baby brother.
We call this style, the Martha Washington hat.
Of course the day we choose to go there is a fleet of school buses. It was chaotic, but M lives for chaos.
She is so proud of her bubble.
The spinning top was aweome!!! Daddy do it again!
There is an awesome play area. A perfect place for a mommy to nurse while Daddy plays with big sister.
Let's not forget a picture of baby brother.
We call this style, the Martha Washington hat.
18 May 2007
The things a toddler says
A car is coming into Fred's lane.
Daddy: Jesus! Learn how to drive [insert choice words here]!
M: Jesus. Baby, Don't say that!!!
Yesterday, I gave Fred a bite of my burrito.
M: Daddy, don't eat mommy's burrito!
When the midwives came on Friday.
M: Holy shit! My midwives are here!
Daddy: Jesus! Learn how to drive [insert choice words here]!
M: Jesus. Baby, Don't say that!!!
Yesterday, I gave Fred a bite of my burrito.
M: Daddy, don't eat mommy's burrito!
When the midwives came on Friday.
M: Holy shit! My midwives are here!
17 May 2007
Love is
Holding your baby for the first time
Just out of the womb.
Daddy meeting his son.
Mina holding her brother.
Love is nursing for the first time.
Love is giving him kisses.
Love is siblings naps.
Bodhi came into the world on May 12, 2007 at 1:30 AM at the foot of our bed.
6 lbs 7 oz
18.5 inches
Happy Love Thursday!
Just out of the womb.
Daddy meeting his son.
Mina holding her brother.
Love is nursing for the first time.
Love is giving him kisses.
Love is siblings naps.
Bodhi came into the world on May 12, 2007 at 1:30 AM at the foot of our bed.
6 lbs 7 oz
18.5 inches
Happy Love Thursday!
06 May 2007
What's with the flashing red lights?
All night we saw flashing red lights. Police car? Aliens invading our bedroom?
No, just a toddler in love with her new shoes.
With the weather warming up, we decided to get Desi a new pair of shoes. She is obsessed with Dora and her monkey friend. Sandals that have Dora and light up when you dance? Too much for my Happy Feet dancing fairy. These shoes have been on her ever since we arrived home, minus her naps. As soon as she woke up from her nap yesterday, she came into the living room with the saddest look on her face. "Wear Dora shoes?" she asks in her most pathetic voice. How can we resist. We let her wear her shoes to our hike because we know that we'll end up carrying her most of the way anyways.
Rules generally are shoes stay downstairs, but Cinderella wants to bring her shoes to the bedroom just in case she loses one shoe, or worse...the shoe bandit. So when its bedtime, off goes the shoes. She has to make sure they are neatly by the foot of the bed. Midnight, she wakes up screaming. Fred and I are still awake. I should go to bed anyways since its late. Before I get into the bedroom, she comes into the living room utterly heartbroken. "Wear Dora shoes?" Guess if we were able to resist her cuteness.
No, just a toddler in love with her new shoes.
With the weather warming up, we decided to get Desi a new pair of shoes. She is obsessed with Dora and her monkey friend. Sandals that have Dora and light up when you dance? Too much for my Happy Feet dancing fairy. These shoes have been on her ever since we arrived home, minus her naps. As soon as she woke up from her nap yesterday, she came into the living room with the saddest look on her face. "Wear Dora shoes?" she asks in her most pathetic voice. How can we resist. We let her wear her shoes to our hike because we know that we'll end up carrying her most of the way anyways.
Rules generally are shoes stay downstairs, but Cinderella wants to bring her shoes to the bedroom just in case she loses one shoe, or worse...the shoe bandit. So when its bedtime, off goes the shoes. She has to make sure they are neatly by the foot of the bed. Midnight, she wakes up screaming. Fred and I are still awake. I should go to bed anyways since its late. Before I get into the bedroom, she comes into the living room utterly heartbroken. "Wear Dora shoes?" Guess if we were able to resist her cuteness.
05 May 2007
We suck at geocaching
We were on the wrong side of the gorge.
Instead of fighting with a toddler to drive to the other side of the gorge (The guy at the visiting center said that we were in the wrong area and there wasn't a way to walk across) we decided to hike down to the water instead.
It was a short one mile hike, but it was a pretty steep climb. Fred says about a 13% grade, whatever that means.
We stopped here.
The hikers:
Not a bad day. Did I mention that I'm having contractions? Nothing too regular, but maybe one or two an hour. I thought that this hike would help get things moving along. I am patient though. I'm only 37 weeks and 4 days, but I really wanted to get one last hike in before the baby comes.
Instead of fighting with a toddler to drive to the other side of the gorge (The guy at the visiting center said that we were in the wrong area and there wasn't a way to walk across) we decided to hike down to the water instead.
It was a short one mile hike, but it was a pretty steep climb. Fred says about a 13% grade, whatever that means.
We stopped here.
The hikers:
Not a bad day. Did I mention that I'm having contractions? Nothing too regular, but maybe one or two an hour. I thought that this hike would help get things moving along. I am patient though. I'm only 37 weeks and 4 days, but I really wanted to get one last hike in before the baby comes.
We have a name!
okay, well Desi does.
Orange Baby. This is what she tells anyone that asks her what the baby's name will be.
Could it be because orange is her favorite color? She does have a friend that she calls "Corn Baby." I am sure that her logic is that since her friend is named after a vegetable, how come she can't name her "Baby suster" after the fruit/color.
Orange Baby. This is what she tells anyone that asks her what the baby's name will be.
Could it be because orange is her favorite color? She does have a friend that she calls "Corn Baby." I am sure that her logic is that since her friend is named after a vegetable, how come she can't name her "Baby suster" after the fruit/color.
03 May 2007
Happy Love Thursday
Love is sharing strawberries with a friend. After eating strawberries the girls had fun pointing at people asking, "What is that?" So much for manners, huh? They were laughing so hard over this. Nothing like two girls laughing and playing together so nicely. Then they had fun collecting rocks and dividing it amongst themselves.
Happy Love Thursday!
02 May 2007
Who know that casting a belly could be so erotic? A new sensation for me, feeling Fred apply the wet dripping strips one by one. He was very careful to cover every inch of my pregnant belly. I wonder how it felt to him, the dripping of the plaster strips between his fingers. I would love to work with clay. I could feel the goo (such a sensual word huh?) run down my breasts, waist and belly to my thighs. Then it was the hardening of the cast. I could feel the stretching of my skin, as the cast was pulling away. Covered in goop, I never felt sexier. Fred gingerly pulled the cast away from me making sure not to take excesss skin or hair! It was just so sweet to see him be so careful. Afterwards we made love. Then I hopped in the shower and even the hot water was erotic.
I have forgotten how erotic life could be. Been too busy to notice the sensuality. I remember when I was first awaken. Every little taste, smell and melody. Beauty is easier to remember to see and feel, I think.
I have forgotten how erotic life could be. Been too busy to notice the sensuality. I remember when I was first awaken. Every little taste, smell and melody. Beauty is easier to remember to see and feel, I think.
28 April 2007
Fisher price tape recorder
Its amazing how much fun it is. We bought it for Desi's second birthday. Its mulitpurpose: Doppler,tape player, voice recorder, Desi-megaphone (like she really needs one), and my favorite: KARAOKE MACHINE! We finally put batteries in it again after a few months out of commission. When we first got it, we just used the batteries that were already in there. (It was a thrift store find.) There was not enough battery juice to play tapes so Desi did not discover the wonder of the tapes until yesterday. She knows now that CDS do not fit in a tape recorder, and those tapes of Mommy's do serve a purpose. You don't just get to pull the tape out and watch Mommy wind it up again.
I put in some music, some 80s, some oldies, and some old jazz. I showed her that you can sing while the music is playing. Next thing, I'm having more fun than she is bellowing out Ella Fitzgerald, Madonna, Garth Brooks, The Angels, and other great sing-a-longs. Desi is looking at me like I'm crazy. I did teach her they lyrics to some songs and she did humour me a little.
I was thinking, this is how I want to bring the baby in the world, singing in an old Fisher Price tape recorder. I just hope my midwife will forgive me for my horrible singing voice. I have to try to convince Fred to sing too. Perhaps we can all have a sing-a-long marathon!
I put in some music, some 80s, some oldies, and some old jazz. I showed her that you can sing while the music is playing. Next thing, I'm having more fun than she is bellowing out Ella Fitzgerald, Madonna, Garth Brooks, The Angels, and other great sing-a-longs. Desi is looking at me like I'm crazy. I did teach her they lyrics to some songs and she did humour me a little.
I was thinking, this is how I want to bring the baby in the world, singing in an old Fisher Price tape recorder. I just hope my midwife will forgive me for my horrible singing voice. I have to try to convince Fred to sing too. Perhaps we can all have a sing-a-long marathon!
26 April 2007
Love is
Reading a book together even though you had read it for the umpteenth time.
Desi has a ton of books. I am an avid reader and I hope to pass it on to her. I guess like all of, we have our favorites. She can read "Pumpkin Patch" from memory now. Some of her favorites are "Pigs in Love," "Baby on the Way," "I Need a Valentine," "Curious Geroge"( I change the words around a bit...zoo is animal sanctuary,) "Boo-Boo Book" and "Opposites."
Happy Love Thursday!
Desi has a ton of books. I am an avid reader and I hope to pass it on to her. I guess like all of, we have our favorites. She can read "Pumpkin Patch" from memory now. Some of her favorites are "Pigs in Love," "Baby on the Way," "I Need a Valentine," "Curious Geroge"( I change the words around a bit...zoo is animal sanctuary,) "Boo-Boo Book" and "Opposites."
Happy Love Thursday!
22 April 2007
Happy Earth Day!!!
It will be a beautiful day today! Hopefully we can get out and enjoy this lovely weather. I hope to do a cache and pick up trash along the way. It all depends on Desi. She has been clingy all morning and now is taking an early nap.
19 April 2007
Today's hypno session was brought to you by
Pooh, Piglet and Eeyore too.
"Let go," my hypno-therapist tells me. I'm a bit annoyed. Am I getting my money's worth? Come on, I don't want to work on relaxation. We have been doing this for the last three sessions. I'm also slightly perturbed by Fred too. How can he bring him into a state or relaxation so quickly? He needs to help me relax and doesn't need to sit and be hypnotized as well. He has proven himself quite adapt at self hypnosis already.
I'm just annoyed in general. Pooh is very simple. He doesn't let little things bother him. This guy is yapping, the music is annoying, at least Fred is being quiet. I hear Pooh giggling. He is totting along holding Piglet's hand.
"Let it go. These small things don't matter."
"I won't go to a session next week. What's the use? I can work on relaxation at home. They just don't think I can do this!"
"Let it go. Let things be."
"How come we aren't working on Fred being a partner? Instead he just sits there."
"Let it go. You're letting those things annoy you."
I sink deeper and deeper. Releasing the strings of my annoyances.
Guess what happens? My hypno-therapist sees that I am in such a deep state of relaxation that it tries something new: glove anesthesia. I am aware that he is taking my hand and stroking it. I am aware that he is pinching the skin. Ha! He thinks I can't feel it. It doesn't hurt. Its time to bring us both out.
He asks what I remember. I tell him that I felt him playing with my hand leaving the part out about the pinching. I want him to think that it worked. He tells me that he was actually grabbing skin with his nails and twisting. Hmmm...I guess I didn't feel that. Points for the hypno-therapist AND me!
Know what else? Next week we will work on birth breathing. I guess the little fluff ball was right.
"Let go," my hypno-therapist tells me. I'm a bit annoyed. Am I getting my money's worth? Come on, I don't want to work on relaxation. We have been doing this for the last three sessions. I'm also slightly perturbed by Fred too. How can he bring him into a state or relaxation so quickly? He needs to help me relax and doesn't need to sit and be hypnotized as well. He has proven himself quite adapt at self hypnosis already.
I'm just annoyed in general. Pooh is very simple. He doesn't let little things bother him. This guy is yapping, the music is annoying, at least Fred is being quiet. I hear Pooh giggling. He is totting along holding Piglet's hand.
"Let it go. These small things don't matter."
"I won't go to a session next week. What's the use? I can work on relaxation at home. They just don't think I can do this!"
"Let it go. Let things be."
"How come we aren't working on Fred being a partner? Instead he just sits there."
"Let it go. You're letting those things annoy you."
I sink deeper and deeper. Releasing the strings of my annoyances.
Guess what happens? My hypno-therapist sees that I am in such a deep state of relaxation that it tries something new: glove anesthesia. I am aware that he is taking my hand and stroking it. I am aware that he is pinching the skin. Ha! He thinks I can't feel it. It doesn't hurt. Its time to bring us both out.
He asks what I remember. I tell him that I felt him playing with my hand leaving the part out about the pinching. I want him to think that it worked. He tells me that he was actually grabbing skin with his nails and twisting. Hmmm...I guess I didn't feel that. Points for the hypno-therapist AND me!
Know what else? Next week we will work on birth breathing. I guess the little fluff ball was right.
Love is
Giving your baby brother or sister early zuberts.
Playing with your sibling in the womb to try to make it move.
There is always room for Mina on Mommy's lap.
And my favorite. While sitting in my lap, she tenderly touched my belly and said, "Baby, I love you!"
Happy Love Thursday!
Playing with your sibling in the womb to try to make it move.
There is always room for Mina on Mommy's lap.
And my favorite. While sitting in my lap, she tenderly touched my belly and said, "Baby, I love you!"
Happy Love Thursday!
18 April 2007
Its a
Girl!!!!!
If you remember, my SIL is pregnant as well. She had her ultrasound today and I'm going to have a niece!!!! Heather said that the baby flashed a peace sign, just for us. Hopefully she will send pictures and I'll ask her if I can share.
If you remember, my SIL is pregnant as well. She had her ultrasound today and I'm going to have a niece!!!! Heather said that the baby flashed a peace sign, just for us. Hopefully she will send pictures and I'll ask her if I can share.
Her little piggies are crunchy!
If you remember from a few posts ago, her piggies liked to eat certain foods, all vegan of course.
Today she added a new spin. "This little piggy went to the chiropractor! Pretty soon she will add, "This little piggy stayed at the commune."
Today she added a new spin. "This little piggy went to the chiropractor! Pretty soon she will add, "This little piggy stayed at the commune."
16 April 2007
Blech
Weather feels awful today. Its suppose to be spring! I am physically and mentally drained as well. I am just too tired to do anything today. Yesterday the drive back from the midwife was beautiful. The snow flurries didn't bother me, even though its mid-April. The trees looked quite pretty covered in white. Even when the electricity went out yesterday, I didn't blink. Today though I'm annoyed. Its windy and rainy, in the low 40s. I'm jealous of the people wearing short sleeves. It would have been a good day for splashing if we didn't have this wind. I just hope it warms up soon. I was talking to my downstairs neighbor who insists I am going to pop any minute that my body is holding out until we get some real spring.
I keep counting down. There are two countdowns in my head.
First is five more weeks until I'm full term. The other one is two more weeks until the baby can be be delivered at home by NH law. With no signs of labour I am sure I will make it to at least 37 weeks, not worried on that. Anytime I feel a slight twinge, I take a swig of water.
Its a lazy day for me and lazy post.
I keep counting down. There are two countdowns in my head.
First is five more weeks until I'm full term. The other one is two more weeks until the baby can be be delivered at home by NH law. With no signs of labour I am sure I will make it to at least 37 weeks, not worried on that. Anytime I feel a slight twinge, I take a swig of water.
Its a lazy day for me and lazy post.
14 April 2007
My results
What religion is right for you quiz
You scored as agnosticism.
You are an agnostic. Though it is generally taken that agnostics neither believe nor disbelieve in God, it is possible to be a theist or atheist in addition to an agnostic. Agnostics don't believe it is possible to prove the existence of God (nor lack thereof). Agnosticism is a philosophy that God's existence cannot be proven. Some say it is possible to be agnostic and follow a religion; however, one cannot be a devout believer if he or she does not truly believe.
agnosticism 96%
Buddhism 88%
Paganism 79%
atheism 71%
Hinduism 58%
Satanism 50%
Islam 50%
Christianity 46%
Judaism 33%
You scored as agnosticism.
You are an agnostic. Though it is generally taken that agnostics neither believe nor disbelieve in God, it is possible to be a theist or atheist in addition to an agnostic. Agnostics don't believe it is possible to prove the existence of God (nor lack thereof). Agnosticism is a philosophy that God's existence cannot be proven. Some say it is possible to be agnostic and follow a religion; however, one cannot be a devout believer if he or she does not truly believe.
agnosticism 96%
Buddhism 88%
Paganism 79%
atheism 71%
Hinduism 58%
Satanism 50%
Islam 50%
Christianity 46%
Judaism 33%
12 April 2007
Breathe in relaxation
words from my hypnotherapist.
Tuesday's session went well. I realized that tuning the guy out works best for me to get in a deep stage of relaxation. I was able to become self enlightened again through Noella.
Breathe in good, breathe out bad. Use my yoga breaths. I'm underwater. I am always able to breathe in good energy when I'm underwater. Swimming, floating, just being. Now I am in the clouds. Carebear land, but there are no Carebears, just rainbows, soft clouds and people I love. Wasabi is there and I am breathing in his scent. I loved the way he smelled when the sun kissed his fur. Noella appears. I am resisting she says.
"I miss you Noella. Are you happy?"
"I am happy."
"Are you playing with Wasabi?"
"Wasabi and I love to play. Stop changing the subject. You need to trust and open up. No one in this room wants to hurt you. They want the best for you."
"I don't know about the guy in the chair. I hear him shifting in his chair. Is he getting up?"
"No, he is just moving around. He will stay there. You need to trust him. He wants a positive outcome for you as well. Remember you came to him for help." At this point I can feel the tears in my eyes. I am just overwhelmed with love for Noella. Memories dance in front of me, like a movie.
"Come back," she says to me.
"Will you hold on to my baby until the time is ready?"
"Baby is listening. You tell Blanket to stay. Remember to trust and open up."
I feel open. I no longer feel vulnerable to my emotions. I feel safe. Everything will go as planned.
"By the way, it was you all along."
Time to open my eyes.
Everyone is still in their chair. I still feel safe. I now feel empowered. I was in control all along because I let go. I let things just be.
Tuesday's session went well. I realized that tuning the guy out works best for me to get in a deep stage of relaxation. I was able to become self enlightened again through Noella.
Breathe in good, breathe out bad. Use my yoga breaths. I'm underwater. I am always able to breathe in good energy when I'm underwater. Swimming, floating, just being. Now I am in the clouds. Carebear land, but there are no Carebears, just rainbows, soft clouds and people I love. Wasabi is there and I am breathing in his scent. I loved the way he smelled when the sun kissed his fur. Noella appears. I am resisting she says.
"I miss you Noella. Are you happy?"
"I am happy."
"Are you playing with Wasabi?"
"Wasabi and I love to play. Stop changing the subject. You need to trust and open up. No one in this room wants to hurt you. They want the best for you."
"I don't know about the guy in the chair. I hear him shifting in his chair. Is he getting up?"
"No, he is just moving around. He will stay there. You need to trust him. He wants a positive outcome for you as well. Remember you came to him for help." At this point I can feel the tears in my eyes. I am just overwhelmed with love for Noella. Memories dance in front of me, like a movie.
"Come back," she says to me.
"Will you hold on to my baby until the time is ready?"
"Baby is listening. You tell Blanket to stay. Remember to trust and open up."
I feel open. I no longer feel vulnerable to my emotions. I feel safe. Everything will go as planned.
"By the way, it was you all along."
Time to open my eyes.
Everyone is still in their chair. I still feel safe. I now feel empowered. I was in control all along because I let go. I let things just be.
10 April 2007
Hey good looking, whatcha got cooking?
Who got in the sugar?
Cream sugar and 1/2 cup margarine or canola oil.
1 cup sugar
Add a pinch of salt...just a pinch. Thank goodness most of it ended on the counter.
What was I thinking to let her do the salt?
1 tsp vanilla
1 tsp baking soda
2 cups flour
Blend
Mash 4 ripe bananas and add it to the mix and blend.
Sneak as many bites of bananas as you can, because once it's blended it become part of the batter.
Mix dry cranberries or any dried fruit that you think will taste scrumptious
Bake on 350 for 18 minutes to 22 minutes.
Yields one dozen banana muffins.
09 April 2007
This little piggy had:
strawberries, cake, strawberry cake, sandwiches, chili, avocado, sushi, nori...
D insists I substitute these foods in place of roast beef. It started off as tofu and then somehow evolved. I have to do the whole nursery rhyme over each time she names a new food. The game can go on and can be quite redundant. I think her piggies eat as much as she does, if not more.
D insists I substitute these foods in place of roast beef. It started off as tofu and then somehow evolved. I have to do the whole nursery rhyme over each time she names a new food. The game can go on and can be quite redundant. I think her piggies eat as much as she does, if not more.
08 April 2007
Children's Heroes
Fred was watching some old Western type movie last night and it got me thinking. Cowboys have been replaced by wrestlers and comic book characters. The violence doesn't stop or begin there. Humans are obsessed with destruction. Ever been stuck in traffic because of the accident on the other side of the median?
Perhaps its just the circle of life that draws humans. We all like to hear a sappy story with a happy ending.
I think we do it to feel a connection to each other. We all live separate lives; our worlds brush up against each other at the supermarket, in traffic or on the bus. But its only for a brief moment. Its the destruction and the creation that draws the one thing we all have in common out of us: emotions. And for more than just a brief moment we can all hold on it together.
Perhaps its just the circle of life that draws humans. We all like to hear a sappy story with a happy ending.
I think we do it to feel a connection to each other. We all live separate lives; our worlds brush up against each other at the supermarket, in traffic or on the bus. But its only for a brief moment. Its the destruction and the creation that draws the one thing we all have in common out of us: emotions. And for more than just a brief moment we can all hold on it together.
06 April 2007
Do I eat too much chocolate?
Her: Baby nurse mommy?
Me: Yes, baby will share with you.
Her: Share.
Me: Baby will bring more milk. What does my milk taste like?
Her: Chocolate!
Now I don't know if that's true or not or if she is just saying random things, but it was sweet to hear that my milk tastes so good.
Me: Yes, baby will share with you.
Her: Share.
Me: Baby will bring more milk. What does my milk taste like?
Her: Chocolate!
Now I don't know if that's true or not or if she is just saying random things, but it was sweet to hear that my milk tastes so good.
05 April 2007
Love is
buying your pregnant wife chocolate milk, chocolate mint bar and chocolate ice cream bars!
Happy Love Thursday
Happy Love Thursday
Jealousy?
While reading Welcome with Love:
Looking at the part where baby's head is emerging.
"Leave baby in there!"
Looking at the part where baby's head is emerging.
"Leave baby in there!"
Relaxation
I have been going to see a hypnotherapist to help me relax and prepare for birth. I have been to two sessions. I haven't been able to go under hypnosis yet; Fred on the other hand, is quite successful. Fred isn't the one giving birth.
This piece is something that I envisioned during the first session. The hypnotherapist told us to imagine going down an escalator. Well, since D was with me during the vision exercise, I didn't feel safe going down an escalator with her. I imagined flying through clouds towards my baby. I don't know when the clouds metamorphosed into rainbows. They sky is a bright blue with hues of pinks, violets and green near the umbilical cord. We are still attached. The baby is lit by the sun, rays of light exploding behind him or her. I am diving through different colors of the rainbow closer and closer to relaxation. Holding my hands out to catch my baby. I see the rays of sun in between my fingers. My hair acts like a cape to help me glide down towards my goal. The top of the baby's head, which we can't is enveloped in purple as is my birth canal because purple represents power.
I sketched the bottom using, D as my model. I couldn't decide whether to use water colors first for the sky or to color the baby and me first using colored pencils. I decided to use water colors. I loved how we were both blank canvases surrounded by a sea of color. I should have taken a picture. I almost decided that the piece was done, but decided to complete it. Originally, I was going through rings of, prisms but it changed to different colors. I like how the orange and red rings blend with the sun rays.
03 April 2007
01 April 2007
Life and Death
I am searching the internet to find the perfect birthing necklace. I think I found it.
click
I was thinking that I will get a tattoo of it as well for my motherhood tattoo. I was deciding between that and this.
I decided on the tree. For me the tree also symbolizes my Noella. She had a tattoo of the tree as well. It's only fitting I think. I miss her deeply today.
click
I was thinking that I will get a tattoo of it as well for my motherhood tattoo. I was deciding between that and this.
I decided on the tree. For me the tree also symbolizes my Noella. She had a tattoo of the tree as well. It's only fitting I think. I miss her deeply today.
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